Strike a healthy work-life balance

[1]

Why is life so tough? Why is it so difficult to maintain a balance between home and career? Being a working woman, I face a lot of difficulty in striking a balance. My family has high expectations from me, which I try to fulfill. But what disturbs me is that they do not expect anything from my husband. Why am I always supposed to sacrifice?
Parul Sharma

A. Yes, being a woman is tough. Being the one to make most of the sacrifices and shoulder responsibilities, taking care of everyone’s needs — and it’s a thankless scenario. I respect Indian women so much more because an Indian man is completely dependent on her, as is her family. She holds everything together. In the West, men share equal responsibility. Now things are changing. Women are equal to men at work and often you find yourself wondering why then are you treated differently at home. Well, I think you could point out to your family and husband that this is the case. I hope everyone reading this sees how we allow gender biases at home and how we could in our own small ways try to overcome it and appreciate our women.
Coming back to how you feel, I think you should feel proud of what you contribute to home and family. You should be happy always and try and see this as a hazard from years of continued norm of behaviour. Maybe knowing that your family is not being biased on purpose and expects you to fulfill gender roles that have been a part of society for ages will make you less stressed. Also, set time aside for yourself to do something that gives you joy, with your friends, or something you like. Time just for you. Also, you could speak to your husband and ask him to be your partner in every way. All the best.

I had a very good friend with whom I shared almost everything. Recently he moved to Mumbai and became an actor. Though he hasn’t made it big, he has changed as a person. He has become arrogant and thinks he is different from us. What should I do?
Abhishek Sinha

A. I’m sure it upsets you to see your friend behave like this. When people become arrogant or closed or distant, it could be because they have a lot of stress and the kind only they would understand and don’t have the strength to go through again by sharing it and are vulnerable. An artiste’s journey is a lonely one. He/she goes through phases. It’s a job hazard. We all go through it. Especially initially when one tries to find a foothold. But if you feel he is being arrogant then you must tell him that. He needs to know. I’m sure he will come around and you could leave him alone for a while or tell him that you are affected by his attitude and give him an ultimatum. At least he must treat you well. All the best.

Readers can send their queries to askanupam@anupamkhercompany.
com