Why do only children of film stars get launched?
For the same reason that that the children of industrialists inherit their parents’ empires and children of politicians become the future leaders. If you are wise, you should stop blaming film stars and blame your own father for not being a film star. Also, ask yourself honestly: If you were Shah Rukh Khan, would you launch your son or someone else’s son?
Do you think a mother’s love is the greatest?
First of all, I have a problem with generalising any kind of love. Secondly, I think love for children is easier to practise. It’s a lot of hard work to love adults because they have stronger identities and a lot of other baggage, which are a real pain to deal with. On the contrary, both dogs and children can be made very happy with just biscuits and cuddles.
I think I am living far better than you because you make movies, suffer reviews and failures whereas I just sit and watch.
I abhor the corpse-like lifestyle you have chosen. Please remind me to celebrate your death.
Why are all dead people good?
Because they are no longer a threat or competition to the living. We urge the dead to rest in peace so that they will leave us in peace. I often wonder if we don’t tell them to rest in peace, will they keep turning in their graves or will they come back to haunt us?
On a serious note, dead people will always be good people because they won’t gain anything by doing bad.
Do you think that many people hate you because they actually love you?
No, they hate me because I don’t care about being loved by them.
God always likes good people. That’s why he takes them away to heaven.
Yeah, sure! And then he gives a five-star life to the bad people on earth. It is incredible that everyone wants to go to heaven but no one thinks what could be there in heaven besides Rambha, Urvashi, Menaka, Tilottama and some spirited drink called amrutham. That’s because even the promoters of God couldn’t create a better incentive than sex and alcohol.
I’m presuming Rambha and co. won’t be there for sewing and cooking purposes and no way amrutham can be some kind of fruit juice. As far as I’m concerned, going by the sketches of Rambha and co. in comic books, they are not my type and I’m also not into their Kuchipudi, Bharatanatyam kind of dance. I prefer vodka to fruit juice any day. So I will stick to the earthly Smirnoff instead of experimenting with amrutham and lean back and enjoy Bollywood dances. I will deal with hell whenever I get there and meanwhile enjoy my heaven here.
Why do we toss a coin to decide what to do?
Because it saves us the trouble of thinking and making the decision.
What’s your take on love, sex and marriage?
We love so that we can have sex and we enjoy sex when we love; and then one day marriage will come along and kill both love and sex.