‘Friendship is organic’

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The one overriding theme of the film Three Idiots was friendship and following one’s dreams. What struck me was the characters of Madhavan, Aamir Khan and Sharman Joshi genuinely came across as true buddies in a very convincing way. So the first question I asked Sharman when I met him was, were they really friends? “Yes, we struck a friendship through the film, and still are. We might be preoccupied in our work and travel now, but that special place always exists in my heart for them.”
He quotes Ruskin Bond: “For the friends you loved and may not now be in touch with, absent so long, I may have stopped loving you, friends, but I will never stop loving the days I loved you.”
What is Sharman’s perception of friendship? “Friendship is the most enriching thing that alleviates a life from being dull, but it does take emotional and even physical investment. One has to retain the faith in friendship, despite some break-ups and disappointments and have the strength to trust. To say to oneself that I will believe in friendship even if I’ve been unfortunate in some experiences. To rebuild and rework a bad situation is possible, I’ve seen that. People are not bad, situations are difficult,” he shares.
Perhaps Sharman has had some heartbreak in friendship but he seems to be philosophical about it. “I have had situations that might not have worked, maybe I was disappointed and came to the conclusion that some people are not meant to have close friends. However, along the course I developed close friends. I may have had heartbreak at school, but my college friends share close bonds with me today. We share the deepest, darkest secrets and are part of each other’s joy and pain. It’s been an enriching attachment.”
One thing I’ve been curious about, which Raju Hirani touches upon in his film Three Idiots — can friendships transcend intellectual, monetary and religious disparities? Sharman is emphatic, “It can definitely. You interact with equality in terms of what you think, how you speak. Backgrounds, money and religion should not come in the way at all, because then it’s not friendship. If my friend is a billionaire, it doesn’t matter nor is a consideration in the friendship.
“Friendship to me is organic. It happens with similar viewpoints that attract you to a person, so a bond is formed. There may be times when you have to make that extra investment in terms of time and emotion, but then close relationships also have demands!”
I am curious, does Sharman view marriage as a friendship too? “Prerna and I have been friends first before we started dating. We never felt the pressure of marriage but in our culture it’s part of the deal, so we made the social commitment. But she is my friend first.”
Films and glamour must have brought its share of awkwardness in relationships but for Sharman it was only an initial impediment. In no time friends discover that Sharman is the same person and the work profile is just a separate compartment of his life.
His golden rules for friendship — communication, trust, time and bonding — are universal guidelines that ensure a rewarding inspirational connection forever. “Once you’ve found good friends, you cannot take them for granted.”

The author is a lifestyle columnist
and a designer. You can mail her at nishajamvwal @gmail.com