“I get hurt, disturbed and angry with all men when I see injustice done to women. Why are women so discriminated against? Why can’t they be treated equal to men? I rage within, I seek an answer.”
— a teenage girl.
God, this is a Pandora’s box that I have somehow managed to avoid opening so far. You want me to speak up on a topic that’s so contentious — I am sure whatever I say will draw sharp stinging criticism. Let me take a deep breath and begin.
OK Here goes. That ‘rage within’, so to speak, will eventually lead you on the road to aggressive feminism. Stay away from the rage if you value your happiness and peace of mind. That’s not to say the feminist movement is wrong. It’s not. Women are still looked down, put down, talked down in general society in so many subtle and gross ways. Someone has to fight for them, support their cause.
It’s become an accepted culture to exploit a weak or vulnerable woman — a culture with time honoured roots extending into hoary past — when wives were burnt alive with their deceased husbands or girls kept as temple slaves to be abused by rich men. In the face of such abuse, all the so called worship of female deities, honouring of mothers and sisters and daughters in festive rituals is so much tripe, for we continue to live in a hypocritical era where men will say one thing and do quite another.
Still, rage will lead you nowhere. You have obviously witnessed acts of cruelty against women whom you respect — and your young idealistic mind rebels and fumes. It’s one thing to hold a candle in a procession, another to turn that candle into a flame that will blaze through your being. In all things be moderate please. Don’t allow any cause, however relevant, to set fire to your heart and engulf your spirit.
There is life beyond rage — wonderful life, great friends, loving men — who will echo your feminist feelings and flow with your thoughts and attitudes. Yet those same wonderful men will avoid you if you get too aggressive with your views. I don’t really know how to say this without offending my feminist readers any more than I have already done. Yes, this is an F word you don’t want to use too often.
Feminism is like a blazing campfire. Stay far away and you won’t feel its warmth and energy. Get too close and you will be burnt to crisp toast. Learn to keep the right distance, strike the right balance, and let life move on.
Go chill with friends, forget the anger, flow with simple pleasures for awhile. Avoid speaking the F word for a few weeks. Remember, like all obsessions, this too will pass.