When I first adopted Arjun, I knew that I would be solely responsible when it came to taking care of him. My mother did stay with me for three months but that was only to help me through the initial stages.
After that it was just Arjun and I, though Jesse was around too. We did go through our share of adjustment issues but thankfully they were not too major. For instance, Arjun, who was two years old at the time, knew only a smattering of Hindi, while my Marathi was limited to giving instructions to my maid. So through a mixture of sign language and broken Hindi and Marathi we learnt to communicate. Now, three years later, we converse fluently in English and my son, I think, has forgotten whatever Marathi he knew.
I love doing typical daddy things with Arjun. There are a set of games that he will play only with me and we love spending time together. As a dad I make it a point to give Arjun a bath in the morning, have breakfast together and then drop him to school on my way to the gym. In the afternoons, both Jesse and I are usually around to have lunch with him and spend time talking about his day at school.
There is nothing that can take precedence over these special times. In the evenings too I make it a point to tuck Arjun into bed and read him one of his favourite books. If I’m not around then Jesse does. One of us is always around for him.
But I think Arjun has a special soft corner for Jesse and is always following her around. He is a very sweet and sensitive child. For example, if Jesse and I are getting ready to go to a party, he will make sure he gives us a once over and tell us how great we are looking.
Whether it is PTA meetings or sports days, Jesse and I make it a point to attend them all. Initially it would be me who’d attend his PTA meetings as Jesse and me weren’t married.
We haven’t hidden the fact that he isn’t our biological child from him. If he has any questions we make sure we answer them honestly. We don’t want him to learn the truth from someone else. He even celebrates two birthdays — his actual birthday and a homecoming birthday.
While I would have loved to teach him dancing, he has no inclination towards it. He loves his sports, painting and drawing and we are okay with that. He even makes paintings of us with sweet messages scribbled on them for us. I couldn’t have asked for a better family.
As told to Ranjani Rajendra