This piece is a sequel to my article, the story of my SMS friend who I have been calling “Dove” (to protect her identity) dated March 14 this year. Twenty four-year-old Dove had fallen into a deep depression whilst in her marriage, where her husband verbally, physically and sexually abused her. Her family had not wanted to unravel the
reason for her death until her younger sister and I got in touch. I was privy to what Dove went through only through her text messages. Her parents and older sister had known about it, but did not want to interfere with this so called “sacred bond”. Dove finally took her own life, unable to find a way out.
Her younger sister was outraged and ashamed at what Dove had gone through, but found herself alone in this fight. “Where do I start?” she asked me.
“On the night of February 18 this year, we got a call from London from my brother-in-law saying my sister had passed away. I was numb. We got to know later that she had committed suicide. This could not be true. Dove was a strong, happy and positive person,” she said inconsolably.
I, meanwhile, sent her all Dove’s messages and her email to me where she had explained how helpless she was in her dilemma. Helpless because she did not want to abandon her marriage as her parents had forbidden her to.
It was a moment of truth for Dove’s sister. “I felt a deep sense of guilt not knowing what my sister went through. Why did she have to listen to my parents to this extent? I wanted to avenge her death, but how?” said this
young 18-year-old.
“My parents shocked me. I could not believe these were my parents. I would lock myself in the room and cry for hours partly because I missed my sister and partly because I was frustrated. After knowing the truth, my parents turned their backs on my attempt to fight my brother-in-law. I wanted a hug from my mother in support, but instead she slapped me for fighting for my dead sister,” she exclaimed.
This young lady spoke to me about fighting a case. “Getting in touch with the police, answering millions of questions, knowing my brother-in-law was wrong and being made to believe he was innocent was heart-breaking and exhausting. Things were slow, I felt it was a long battle and a futile one,” she said and many a time she sent me a message saying, “I can’t do it, I am withdrawing the case.” I urged her not to give up.
“It was horrible!” she told me. “I had to hear my tormented sister was mentally unstable. I was still alone with no support from my parents and I was being pressured to do an out of court settlement by his family.”
The truth started unravelling. He beat Dove all the time. He forced her to have intercourse with his friend. He would keep her locked. “I could feel my sister’s humiliation,” said this strong little sister who braved the UK courts and had him convicted and thrown into jail for a 4-year sentence for domestic violence, harassment leading to suicide, misleading the court and sexual harassment.
“Even though I am happy about my brother-in-law being punished, no punishment is harsh enough for him. I still feel an extreme anger and wish my sister didn’t have to go through this. I feel she should have never taken this step. I miss her like crazy and nothing can fill that void. I hope my sister will be at peace now,” she told me, all choked up.
Only the last chapter of this story remains incomplete. “When I first heard the news of the judgment, I began howling,” she said. “I have definitely learnt to be stronger. If my own parents could do this, can I trust anyone?” she said, undefeated. “I want to move on and not look back. I have lived in misery and trauma for the last eight months,” she said. Talking about my connection with Dove and our new bond, she said, “I have realised people come into your life for a reason and become your biggest strengths.”