Often, men fantasise about various sexual scenarios while making love to their wives. In fact, sexual fantasies constitute a normal, universal component of human psychology. According to Brett Kahr, the renowned British psychotherapist, “They (sexual fantasies) develop from our earliest infantile fantasy capacities and become increasingly sexual as we progress through our life cycle.”
In fact, the Sex in America, study found that 54 per cent of men and 19 per cent of women fantasised about sex everyday. However, during sex, the gender difference almost vanished; it was found in another landmark survey, which was conducted by professor Harold Leitenberg of the University of Vermont, that 85 per cent of both men and women fantasise during intercourse. Leitenberg concluded that, “People who fantasise during the sex experience achieve a great level of sexual satisfaction and have fewer sexual problems.”
The study also found that the contents of the fantasies differ in men and women. Women’s fantasies involve romance and someone they know, while men’s fantasies include genital images and explicit sexual acts. Sexual fantasies can enhance both the psychological and physiological aspects of sex, in many ways and sexologists even use “fantasy” as a therapeutic tool.
However, it must be noted that if we carry our fantasies into our real lives, sexual arousal will become completely dependent on them and we won’t be able to respond to the usual stimuli. Also, in a small percentage of individuals, their nature is such that their fantasies could exert a deleterious influence on them — as in the case of paedophiles or rapists.
The writer is a sexologist. You can mail him at dr.narayana@deccanmail.com [1]
Links:
[1] mailto:dr.narayana@deccanmail.com