All of us have fears; there is no one in the world who is without fears. Indeed, to fear is to be mortal. The rich eternally fear whether their investments will grow faster than the rate of inflation and whether their children will manage their legacies well. The middle-class in turn fear sickness and the lower classes fear poverty. The farmer fears a failed monsoon. The actor fears a box-office flop. And the politician fears the verdict of the electorate.
Many polls have been routinely conducted by news magazines and news organisations to find out what people fear the most. And an interesting fact that has emerged is that different nationalities fear different things. The fear of old age, of being broke, of being left alone, are universal, but their ranking changes across nations.
Old age has been traditionally feared in Western nations, where youth is the eternal dazzler. All ad campaigns, TV shows and products are youth-oriented and the senior citizens feel marginalised as if they did not exist in public consciousness. Hence in the US and Europe, the money spends on anti-ageing products and therapies is staggering. In Asian countries, which accord respect to grey hair, it is normal to see the elderly in the public eye. But with growing urbanisation and increasing dependence on children, old age is creeping up the fear charts.
I too had fears and I was mortally afraid of failure. After my success in my first film Saraansh, I met with a kind of success that I had never dreamt of. But fate teaches us all a lesson. I turned entrepreneur and I had several business reverses which virtually wiped out my net worth. That was truly frightening. I worked out my fears by writing and acting in my autobiographical play Kucch Bhi Ho Sakta Hai, which continues to be a resounding hit. It was a public performance of all the failures in my life; from my first romance to my business reversals. I was a changed man after that first-night’s performance. Figuratively, I stood naked before the audience and now I had nothing to fear.
Not all can stage a play about their lives. But others do write about their experiences and yet others publish their thinly-veiled tales of fiction. Such a letting out gives people immense relief. You too should adopt that open-air policy and speak openly to your friend and colleagues about your fears; they will reduce in course of time and may seem to be even farcical later. The problem with our fears is that we always hide behind them; and that attitude makes our fear larger than it really is.
Another approach is to rationalise our fear with the question, Is that the worst thing that could happen to me? Let me illustrate: Suppose you are afraid of committing yourself to marriage, or you fear going bald. Is that the worst thing that could happen to you? Certainly not! You could get bankrupt or you could die a painful death. In comparison, your fears simply pale out.
So fear not, you have nothing to fear but fear itself!
The writer is a renowned film and theatre actor