Bribes, a part of life

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Diwali is here and in the midst of all the excitement there is a large sect of people sharpening their bargaining and gambling skills. Scores of stores are throwing open their most extravagant collection of clothes and sweets. Sessions of teen patti, grandma churning the magical concoction of burfi in a humongous pot, endless strands of lights blinking to their own strange rhythm and designer diyas — it’s the great Indian family celebrating the great Indian festival. The constant hustle-bustle glazes over the more sinister side of human interaction and here, only money talks.
I’m standing in front of the pataka stall wondering what will be the cheapest combination of crackers. I have a short and a rather robust Tamilian woman standing next to me — talking in decibel levels I’m sure would make her illegal if she were abroad — negotiating the price as if the crackerwala was her maid and she was coaxing her to scrub that impossible stain on the floor a little more. She had three massive bags overflowing with flower pots, chakras and a plethora of bombs. Overhearing her conversation I am aghast to hear her bring down the price by nearly 25 per cent! Of course, I had no such luck. Turns out, bargaining is an art and not everyone is gifted.
On my way back, I pass by the ‘Interceptor’ vehicle and I see two cops — one politely reasoning with a lady sitting in a Honda City and another roughing up a man on a bike. I get the distinct feeling the man on the bike is going to be a lot poorer than the lady once they are through. It is amazing how much we bargain and even bribe in the process. And then it hits me — we bribe even when we pray. “Please God! I will not watch Friends for a month if you pass me in my exams!” “Get above 85 per cent in your test and I’ll buy you that PS3.” We bribe our children and our Gods alike.
Perhaps the most ludicrous incident of bribing has been the triumph of Gods over Demons. Brahaspati and Shukra were the demon priests. Due to the religious faith of the two priests, the demons could not be defeated. The Gandharvas and Suryavarcas knew which side would win. Disguised as a parrot, Indra overheard a gandharva declare “Whichever side has Shukra, will win.” Indra rushed to Shukra and invited him, offering him his daughter Jayanti and four wishing cows. Shukra joined the Gods and the Gods won.
Hindu mythology itself is based on the ambiguity of good and evil, of honesty and treachery. The Kauravas gambled their way to the throne and then lost it in the dirtiest battle in the history of Hindu epics. The Mahabharata has more instances of cheating than any other epic. Closer home, Tirupati is the richest temple in the country where there is a fee for the Darshanam. He needs our donations to pay back Kubera’s debt and we donate generously, albeit with a few conditions of our own.
While walking into a sweet shop, I overhear two men talking to each other, “Haan haan, no problem! We’ll work something out. Aur kuch nahi, toh thoda paisa deke kaam khatam kar lenge!” I wonder if our faith has anything to do with our acceptance of bribery. If Karma is not the duty, but the fruits of it.