Divorced or separated parents often have child custody disagreements and the child ultimately bears the brunt of the separation process. Recently while dismissing a petition filed by Bhrigu Wadhwa seeking custody of his seven-year-old daughter from his first wife, justice Kailash Gambhir said a child should not be made to suffer in a custody battle between the parents and the welfare of the child should be paramount, while deciding the custody.
According to Wadhwa, his first wife married again and got settled in New Zealand. The daughter now stays with her maternal grandparents. Seeking the custody of the daughter, he alleged the child will not get proper care from grandparents.
But when we asked Delhiites if it is okay to give custody of the child to the parent who is married or plans to marry again, we got a mixed response.
“In most cases, mothers get the custody of the child. I see no harm in the mother or father remarrying provided the step-parent takes care of the child like the real one,” says Shalini Vashisht, a homemaker.
Niketan Anand, a law student suggests that of the two parents the person who can spend the most time, day to day with the child and who is the primary care giver should be given the responsibility of the child.
“In a separation, the child is bound to suffer. Whether it is the mother or father, the child is going to miss one of them. So, if the parent decides to get married or gets the custody after having been in a relationship, they should seek the custody only when they are sure enough that the child will be taken care of well and will not be deprived of anything,” he says.
In such a situation, joint custody seems to be the best solution. Even studies have shown that children in divorced families tend to do better in joint custody — either physical or legal — than those who live and interact with just one parent.
“While many would believe that joint custody disrupts the stability of a child’s life, shifting back and forth between parents, it has been seen that when the child lives with either of the parent, both share decision-making and stay involved. This keeps both in the loop, which helps a child adjust to parental divorce,” says Jyotsana Sharma (name changed), a marketing executive.