An ugly love story

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A Beautiful Wife begins with a man sitting by his pool. The camera follows him as he walks into a lovely sterile glasshouse where his wife is waiting for him. Gravely, she tells him that she has eaten 20 grapes and is ready to go for mass. He asks her, “Do you want to eat any more?” She replies, “No, it has to be 20.” Much of this film is filled with such inane conversation. The rest of the time, it is filled with inane visuals.
The film finds the man Ignacio Edwards (Meier) and his wife Zoe (Mori) in the 10th year of their marriage, childless and drifting apart from each other. We are made aware that something is wrong with Ignacio — he likes to wear two pairs of socks at the same time, doesn’t like to swim in the pool late at night, prefers to listen to the same classical music at dinner, agrees to have sex with his wife only on Saturdays, and — prepare yourself for the most telling of symptoms — he likes to wax his back.
So, the stage is set for Zoe, the injured wife, to have an affair. And who better than Ignacio’s own little brother, fondly called Gonsa (Cardona). Gonsales is everything Ignacio is not — an artist, a free thinker and a lover of women. He’s always lusting after his brother’s wife and when Zoe finally begins to succumb to his considerable (and hirsute) charm, a sizzling affair ensues.
When Zoe and Gonsa finally tumble into bed, we get what the film is all about — a few sex scenes where the lovers try it in every possible position, even in the kitchen, while the cuckolded Ignacio and his mother sit at the dining table a corridor away.
Lest we feel sorry for the husband, a twist in the plot reveals just how much of an SOB Ignacio has been in the past, showcasing the only moment of any genuine emotion in the film, as a teary Gonsa confronts his older brother.
From there, it’s back to formula 36, as Zoe gets pregnant. As she talks to strange priests, a gay friend and the two men, we wish we could bring ourselves to care about her predicament.