There’s something about her that you love to hate. It doesn’t take much for our ex boyfriend’s new girl to top our list of “dislikes”. Or so seems the trend. So, while Kareena Kapoor wonders where Priyanka Chopra got her accent from, we’ve also seen Aishwarya Rai and Katrina Kaif visibly avoiding each other, and there were
rumours about Kim Sharma and Shamita Shetty clashing over cricketer Yuvraj Singh too. Brawls over boyfriends are common, but unexplainable are those which are over a man, who was yours “once upon a time”.
“My ex and I are still in love, it just didn’t work out because of the long distance. I’ve been with other guys since we broke up, but just thinking of him being with another girl makes me so angry. And I just don’t like his new girlfriend. Even though I’m dating someone else, seeing him with her makes me feel so irritated,” says Niharica, an IAS aspirant.
But when the past is buried, why the grudge? Call it jealousy, anger or label her the reason for the break up, women confess it’s the fact that a new woman is with a man you once dated, that makes her enviable. “We are all possessive about things we love. So is the case with a man you’ve dated. I broke up a long ago, but every time I see her it reminds me of how he betrayed me. So I dislike her. But at times I feel sorry for her,” quips 22-year-old Nitasha Anand.
For some women, jealousy fades away with time. Shveta Bhagat, passionate cakemaker, says, “It depends on how secure you feel. I would want her to be a nice, caring woman. If I am happy, I’d want my ex-partner to be happy too. The phase of bitterness goes away only when you wish well for another person. It takes time, but it goes away eventually.”
Counsellor Dr Geetanjali Kumar sums it up by calling it a “she has taken my place” syndrome and adds, “Often women decide to break up, but don’t accept the consequences that come as a part of the deal. They can’t see another woman taking their place. Acceptance of the fact that another girl is now ruling your ex’s life is not easy for many.”