Women had always wished their husbands could find a way to spend more time with their children and many husbands too had wished the same. But today’s job flexibilities, cultural shift, women with full-time careers and the need for nuclear families, has actually enabled young parents to play a joint role.
Now modern-day fathers can be seen juggling their iPads, day planners, SUVs, beer bottles, baby diapers, pacifiers, rattles and a stroller like a pro. Whether it is about taking care of the baby in the absence of the mother or changing nappies at night, diaper dads are ready to take up the challenge. From Ben Affleck to Sanjay Dutt, fathers are happily donning the hats of caretakers. They want to be a part of their child’s growing phase.
Designer Ashish Parikh becomes mother to his nine-year-old son when Viral, his wife and business partner, is out or attending clients. He clears that it comes naturally to him and not as an obligation. “My son is a typical mamma’s boy. But twice in a week I am the mom. Since his birth, I have been his part time mom and full-time father. I help him do his homework, make sure he eats and goes to bed on time. We do have a full-time nanny and Viral is mostly taking care of him, but when she is occupied I take charge,” he says.
One is never prepared enough to become parents. Saugata Mukherjee, managing editor, HarperCollins publishers too didn’t really know much about the practicalities of raising a kid with both parents in demanding jobs. But one eventually learns to handle. He says, “My wife is also into publishing and we both have hectic schedules. But I feel like being a mom to my son Vivaan, who is two now. I read out stories to him, feed him, change diapers, get him ready for bed and sing lullabies.”
Author Ahmed Faiyaz, who will be a father in 2011, is currently penning a book on a single father. He says fathers today have grown as parents to the point where they play as full a role in their children’s lives as mothers.
“I see myself doing certain things that mums do. The world has changed and fathers are more involved. I would love to read to my kids, take them to doctors, stay up at night with them and cook for them. I’ve seen my dad do it,” he says.
More fathers with their kids in tow on the streets, doing food-shopping and more men at playgrounds hint that it is not that difficult to step into a mom’s shoes. “Since people are having kids later in their lives, they are in better positioned and more mature to handle responsibilities,” adds Ahmed.