Why does my mother always have a grumpy look on her face? Why can’t she relax, laugh more and be friendly? — D
Why are parents so “not cool?” Why can’t they be chilled out like us? — TG
Lots of teenagers write me such stuff, hoping I’m going to give a nice witty reply. Well, I am not going to disappoint them.
Dear D and TG, and lots of other teenagers, I am glad you are so concerned that your mom looks grumpy. It implies you want to see her otherwise. If you are ready to switch roles, yeah sure, the grumpy face of mom will soon disappear as she hops and skips her way to college, jiving to music, chatting on Skype, while you stay and do the dishes, cook, clean the commodes, wash smelly socks and keep the house tidy and go to office for work. In a week’s time, your mom will definitely be chilled and ice cool. But in all likelihood, the grumpy expression that disappeared on her face will reappear on yours.
Visualise this. It’s a bit over the top, I know, (but I’m enjoying myself being witty today) and the essence of it is true.
One fine morning, sixteen odd years ago, a woman realised she was going to be a mother. That day her life changed completely. Her carefree days ended abruptly in the anticipation that you were going to be born.
Your dad and mom were having the time of their life until then. They were “ultra cool” dudes, chilling out in malls and multiplexes, going on long drives, partying till the wee hours of the morn. They had money, they had leisure, and they had each other. Then you got born and put an end to all that. You would scream out in the middle of the night and give the entire society a headache. Whenever you boarded a train, the whole compartment couldn’t sleep. When you sat on a flight, your yelling drowned the sound of jets.
Astrologers predicted you were going to be a costly noisy child. True enough, bills started mounting even before you were born. Your birth cost a neat packet and set back plans for the holidays, the new car and stuff. Then more bills mounted and your dad stopped smiling as much, and your mom grew that objectionable expression on her face.
But you were having a ball. Soon you realised that those guys called parents would do anything for a smile or a laugh from you — that’s all they wanted for their efforts — and that realisation filled you with power. You grew more and more demanding as the years passed. You knew the power of tantrum, of withholding the smile. You knew what it took to make mom into instant jelly. And you practised on that skill and perfected it into a fine art. This wasn’t the end; it was just an endless beginning. The grump, the grouch, the uncool expressions on mom all started here, and would go on forever.
Dear friends, the last thing you should be asking is how come you are having a good time while your parents aren’t? It’s not just rude, it’s unfair. I know it’s too much to ask of you to understand your parents. The least you can do is not misunderstand them.
If you really care for them, then you know what will change that grumpy expression and make them smile. Go ahead and do your bit. Make their day. They have been making yours since you were born.