U wnt gt anywhr if u go abt wrtng lk dis

Author Image:

A young reader writes: “I wnt t bcom an actr bt my dad he wont alw it. I hv dly fts on dis. My mom she smtmes sids wit me smtmes wit dad. Wtf is dis? I lstn to sht lds of bs evry dy. Pl tl wht i shd do, bcoz its vry irrting.” dk

Well young Mr DK, first let me translate your question into normal English for the benefit of my other not so evolved readers. This young man wants to become an actor but his father opposes it. The family quarrels over it every day, with his mother sometimes taking his side, and sometimes his dad’s. We can delete the rest of the expletives and colorful abbreviations and presume that the young man is agitated by this situation and wants a way out.
What strikes me straightaway is that if you want to become an actor, you need to get your lines straight, your diction perfect and your mind calm and focused. The awful language in which you communicate is hardly conducive to promoting your talent. I know that millions of youngsters have forgotten how to write English and are resorting to weird telegraphic abbreviations that fragment the language, destroy its vocabulary and murder its resonating cadences.
Young people don’t seem to care anymore. They are in such an awful hurry to vomit words into curdled alphabets and fidget with their cellphone till they get an equally zany reply. But you need to care. Because if you write like this to a producer or a director, he will say, “This guy can’t write a simple letter, how can he be a good actor?” In case you didn’t get that, let me translate it for you. Bt u nd tk cr bcoz u wnt t bcom an actr. U wnt gt anywhr if u go abt wrtng ltrs lk dis. Ppl wl say wtf is dis? Dis guy he cnt wrt, hw cn he act? Gt it?
Next, if you are really serious about being an actor, figure out a way first to prove to your father that you have the talent and you will eventually make it in the cut-throat world of professional acting. A successful actor essentially wins over the hearts of his audience. You can start by winning your father’s heart. I don’t know how you are going to do this, but I know that anyone who achieved anything significant, at some point in time, went through a challenging process of proving himself to people and the society. It’s up to you to find a way to convince your dad and win him over, or if you can’t, have the calmness to see what he is saying, and move on in life.
If you don’t have the patience required to win over your father, then try this. Go to a production house, wait outside for a few hours or a few days (might be a few weeks), and try and convince them to give you a screen test. That will reveal if you really have talent. If the production house says you are good, show the screen test to your dad as proof. If you don’t have the patience for that either, take out your cellphone and ask your friend to make a video of your screen test. Perform before that tiny camera every day, and keep showing the good ones to your dad whenever he is in a nice mood. If you have the talent, he can’t help but get impressed by it some day.
Remember, an actor is a guy who is passionate about performing. Keep recording movies about yourself and keep showing it to anyone who will see it. Their words of encouragement will keep you going.
And please, learn to write in normal English. Dnt fk arond wit da lang, or u ll nvr mk it. Gt it?

The writer is a film director