This is our chance to enjoy our life to the fullest, not to stress ourselves out reasonlessly.” — Shagufta Seher
“We as teenagers focus on what we don’t have, rather than enjoy what we have. And that is our damn nature for these seven years of teenage.” — Prabhas Raju
Two cheers to these teenagers, Shagufta and Prabhas, for articulating the core problem. However, they could not provide an answer on how a teenager can live a stress-free life. Stating the problem clearly is half the work done. Let’s roll up our mental sleeves and get dirty trying to find the answers.
Last week, I wrote that the core issue was about how teenagers can’t stop themselves from endlessly wanting more and more. That mental indiscipline is why they remain miserable and frustrated. If you can immerse yourself in what you have instead of fretting about what you don’t have, your days will be spent in learning, mastering, enjoying and celebrating. If, on the other hand, you can’t quit worrying over what you don’t have, your days will be spent in striving, falling, fuming and crying.
Now, how do you get to switch mindsets? It is a complex problem with no easy answers. Let’s start by looking at a cellphone. Every teenager has one. But there are lots of boys who are not happy with their phones. They all want the latest and best smart phones — an Apple iPhone4 for instance, which costs upward of `40,000.
You desperately want it. You are not prepared to give up on it. Your classmate’s dad gifted him one on his birthday, and so you don’t see any reason why your dad can’t gift one to you today.
Each time you pull out your old dumb phone and he pulls out his swanky gleaming iPhone4, you are edgy, your nerves are frazzled, your temperature shoots up. What’s worse, the girls are all making a beeline to him. (Most girls couldn’t care less which phone you carry as long you can carry yourself well. However, you can’t figure out this simple truth in the miserable state you’re in). Moreover, as the days pass, you have allowed your brand obsession to dominate your thoughts, cloud your judgement, affect your self-confidence, disturb your concentration, and depress your mind. You start feeling less of a “man” because you don’t have the right phone. The stupid cellphone has become an alter ego, an extension of your personality, and you feel lost, left out, neglected.
This is just the beginning of your problems. A week later another kid gets a new smart phone, then another. Apple iPhone5 is round the corner. You still lug that museum piece of BC era machinery with you. It can’t run 3G. (Oh God, what can be worse than not having 3G!) Worse, the screen of your cellphone got chipped when you threw it in agony. The volume button has quit working.
Your dad still says no, and there is no way he can spend `40,000 on a phone. Life sucks horribly. You start losing your nerve. Why was I born in this family? They can’t provide a decent phone to their son! Why was I born at all! Everyday is a repeat of the previous day’s horror. Yes, horror is the only word that can describe your state now.
Does all this sound familiar to some of you? Quick — what’s the solution? Let me rule out the obvious. I can’t ask you to forget about owning a smart phone. It is coursing in your blood and bones, dreams and daydreams already. I can’t ask you to be happy with your old phone. Your dad has tried that angle a dozen times and it doesn’t work either. So what’s the answer? How do you get rid of this obsession?
Well, I think I have been belting out quick-fix solutions in this column for far too long. This time we’ll do it differently. I want “You” to tell me. Reveal the best, most practical, most workable solution to this painful problem. Any workable answer will be published, applauded and publicly appreciated. Can’t wait to hear from you guys!
The writer is a film director