Taunting under scanner as tool of mental cruelty

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In this day and age when relationships are fragile, bickering and taunting aren’t just expressions of differences and anger but can lead to fatal outcomes. Tiffs and taunts are no ground for divorce, ruled Delhi high court in a case recently where a husband got divorce from his wife in a trial court on the grounds that she used to taunt him for being a clerk and quarrelled with him over petty issues. The judge said that, “Mental cruelty is not as easy to establish as physical cruelty but the impact of it has to be deliberated upon. However an angry look, a random quarrel, a sugar coated insult or a taunt cannot lead the court to grant a decree of divorce.”
Mental cruelty is very subjective. “Let us say, a working woman comes home after long hours at work, completely drained out in office. The husband, instead of taking care of her, questions her integrity or comments on how she looks, isn’t that mental cruelty? If taunting as per law books is not mental cruelty, then what is?” asks Manav Sharma (name changed), an independent recruiter who is going through a period of separation from his wife.
The sensitivity levels of people cannot be defined or gauged by court. Everyone has a different level of sensitivities, what hurts and troubles one can be easily brushed off by another. “Marriage as we all know is based on understanding. The day we start questioning or insulting each other, understanding obviously is gone. I’m not saying that husbands and wives don’t have a right to ask questions, but when those questions become interrogation, it becomes traumatic. At such a stage they should try to fix it, but if it doesn’t, it’s better to go separate ways before it reaches a bitter end,” says Manav.
Lawyer Arjun Natarajan brings up an example of S. Hanumantha Rao vs S. Ramani Supreme Court 1999 where, “It was held that the party who has committed wrong is not expected to live with the other party.”
He further says that courts being custodians of civilisation have to preserve the institution of marriage as long as the marriage is not rendered as dead wood. “As a spouse, I would suggest separation but that would be an impulsive reaction. That’s why we need courts to ensure that impulse does not prevail over an institution as sacred as marriage.”
Corporate executive Ankur Bansal feels seeking separation is certainly a better solution in case of irreconciliable differences as the frustration from regular taunts can only go from bad to worse. “I guess, the two people need to sit and rationally explore what is working and what is not. At times counselling may help ignore small things about their spouses, but generally that doesn’t change the basic nature of people, and if there is a disconnect at that level, it is perhaps logical to seek separation. Mental cruelty on a perpetual basis can lead to lack of focus on professional life and other personal relations too, not to mention that if the couple has kids, they suffer the most for no fault of theirs,” sums up Ankur.