Modern day manxiety

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Gym at 6 am, shower, make-up and dress by 7, calorie calculated breakfast by 8. Before heading out, a final look in the mirror. Lustrous hair: check, glossy skin: check, manicured nails and plucked eyebrows: check! That’s the routine off the pages of 23-year-old Nayan Bora’s life. “My girlfriend found my stubble pokey, so I went for a clean-shaven look and she loved it.

I was a tad overweight so I join her gym to shed the extra pounds. Well, if all that makes me any less a man, then so be it,” says Nayan. Well, love has always come at a price! Gone are the days when a bouquet of flowers and a surprise dinner would sweep your girl off her feet.
Shane Warne recently stepped out with his latest squeeze Liz Hurley looking toned, tanned, clean-shaven and sporting a hair-do that would have taken more than five minutes to set. Looking dapper, the once rugged and scruffy Warne cut down the chubs by giving up beer guzzles and greasy grubs, and resorting to tonic water and veggies. The player even took to a microblogging site recently, and stated that he is now fitter than he has ever been. All this for his ladylove! Looks like Liz has worked her charm.
Priya Nayak, former Miss India contestant, feels, “Such forfeits and genuine gestures always work like a charm. Times have changed. It was the sixties when men grew a stubble, wore hats, smoked all the time and didn’t stress about it. But not anymore. Casualisation of fashion has become a way of life for metrosexual men. The need to please the mirror and look as sharp as your counterpart is a fair enough reason to hit the gym and visit the parlour. Moreover, men who look dishevelled run the risk of coming across as sloppy; and women like men who make the effort and go the distance to impress them.”
This does make you wonder whether the niceties and gestures like ironed shirts, shiny shoes and short nails are charming relics from far simpler times; or timeless standards that in today’s age catches a girl’s attention more than laid-backness. Actor Abbas however shuns the entire concept. “Going under the knife or a grooming regime is all a matter of choice and about how much you want to give or give up for your partner. But either ways, such gestures have fleeting effects and won’t aid or take the relationship anywhere. Personally, I think men follow such gimmicks just as a bait to score more and stifle competition. But given a genuine, enduring relationship, none of this hullabaloo will work.”
Women are becoming picky and will settle for nothing less than the best. This has sent ripples across the man’s world, who, till date, considered women to be at their disposal. “The need for attention is higher now and the competition stiff. Men, being defensive creatures, would naturally resort to anything to mark their territory, even if it means hitting the gym or waxing chest hair,” adds Abbas.
Even the poster boy for male liberation, Hugh Hefner, evicted his three live-in lovers in order to settle down and marry again. And Saif Ali Khan seems to have taken the phrase of “wearing your heart on your sleeve” a little too seriously. The dude walked out with the name of his ladylove inked on his forearm after dating her for just three months. Call it his declaration of love, or veiled insecurity. “I think it’s a generational thing, that men today can choose to be both sensitive and strong at the same time. But I am partially old-school when it comes to picking my right man. Though I would want my guy to be all prim, proper and smelling good, I would never date a guy who spends more time on his hair than I do,” says Miss India 2010, Manasvi Mamgai.
Today, it is the men who are on Atkins diet; and resorting to cosmetic surgery and life-altering compromises to hold on to the women they love. Recent research has found that modern men prefer powerful women while the ladies are taking on the role of the hunter when it comes to finding a significant other. Bluntly countering the squabble, the witty Prahlad Kakkar opines, “Such arguments are baseless, considering how loutish and tied to their mum’s pallu Indian men are. It might hold true for Western men who consider their women to be from a higher race. Such is their attachment to their mother that for Indian men, any other woman is just a commodity. But, fortunately, Indian men’s Achilles’ heel lies below the belt and any possibility of a stir in the area and their brain short circuits; and they’d be ready to crawl and drool in no time. All such callisthenics of taming down and decking up for a girl are just to get their game on. But the instance they sense a denial, they’d sprint out into their mother’s laps in a jiffy.”
Guy Ritchie reportedly undertook a mature-age circumcision to fall in line with his ex-wife’s Kabbalah beliefs when he was married Madonna. It is no secret that women account for the majority of cosmetic surgeries and medical procedures. But according to the latest surveys, a surprising number of men are now taking the plunge to go under the knife. “As more and more wives are getting things done, and starting to look good, men realise, ‘Gosh I want to look good too’,” says Dr Ivy Das. She adds, “Working on self is not a frail and feminine thing to do anymore. It is just a mutual admiration for your partner and the need to please and look good for them, which according to me is a very grand gesture and declaration of love. Nowadays, we even have exclusive packages for couples who want to undertake cosmetic procedures together.”
“Sorry to say this, but the wussificiation of men population continues and is gaining speed. The problem is the MTV psychology. Men should be strong, both emotionally and physically. Men who get their hair blow-dried and nails clipped are just plain pansies, because all women need is for their men to pamper, shield and love them. Chivalry is what we want; a guy to open the door and pour the wine for us,” says India’s first biker babe Alisha Abdullah.