HAPPY HOUSEHUSBANDS CLUB

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Waking up when you simply can’t sleep any more, nibbling on breakfast in slow motion while soaking in newspaper gyaan, browsing through Facebook at an unhurried pace, kissing the wifey bye before she rushes to office, and then maybe getting around to doing some work if the heart desires it! A perfect existence? Well, the

men ‘living the life’ couldn’t agree more. Actor Ranbir Kapoor was recently quoted saying that he would make the perfect househusband since he would be great at giving his lady love a shampoo, blow dry and hair straightening. Jokes apart, the trend of ‘househusbands’ has really caught up in India.
Author Chetan Bhagat is a poster child of sorts for brand househusband. While his other half Anusha, the COO of UBS, is a shining example of a corporate honcho, Bhagat who quit his investment banking career to focus on his writing, is happy to be a stay-at-home dad and watch his twins growing up. And there are several others like him, who work from home while their wives step out for work, and are loving it.
Classicial musician Ayaan Ali Khan, the younger son of sarod maestro Amjad Ali Khan, is someone whose office is his home. When he isn’t spending hours on riyaz and composing music, you will find him revelling in the company of loved ones. “I love the time I get with my family,” says Ayaan, whose wife Neema works with her father film producer Romesh Sharma on a project basis. “When Neema is home, we end up doing very simple things like catching a movie, going out for coffee, meeting friends or just staying home and enjoying long conversations,” says Ayaan. On whether he indulges in household chores, he confesses, “I am fit only for music. I feel that you should be able to do your part well. That could even be taking a decision or appreciating what is being done for you with love. But I do end up giving a helping hand in household chores when we are overseas.”
Working from home seems to go with an artist’s way of life beautifully. “I am an early riser. After my morning workout, I read my newspapers — all four of them. Then I spend the rest of the day in my studio. My wife Sara goes to the gallery by 10 am and is back by 6.30 pm,” says artist Yusuf Arakkal. “When we got married, we were not financially sound. My job at HAL didn’t fetch much. It was great that Sara wanted to be independent, and the added salary was a blessing. After we moved house, a long commute to work became a pain and she decided to give her job up and decided to open Gallerie Sara Arakkal. By then, I had become a full-time artist working from home. So Sara would step out on work and I would work at home. Sara and I have been married for 37 years now, and our marriage has lasted thanks to this arrangement. A couple is bound to get at each other’s throats if they are with each other 24/7,” he laughs, adding, “I try to help around the house as much as I can. I am bad at just two things — cooking and Math.”
Two decades ago, a unique arrangement such as this would have been met with an “Ayyo! How can the head of the family sit at home?” from gossipy aunts and their sidekicks. Not anymore. “Typically there were stringent rules set for men and women. But that’s fast changing. It’s common for women to step outside on work. People have to adapt to it (that includes the men), and they are doing so,” says actor Samir Soni who is used to turning into a househusband when he isn’t occupied with a film or television project. He tied the knot with former actress-now jewellery designer Neelam recently. “Neelam has her stores to manage. I am used to spending time alone at home, since I was living by myself for 10 years, before I married Neelam. I am used to managing the maid, fixing things around home, deciding the menu for lunch and dinner and so on,” says Samir.
Ask him if he ever feels insecure about staying home while the wife goes out, and he says, “It’s a very subjective thing. It might have bothered me if I had failed to fulfill my duties as the ‘protector and provider’ (since these traditional ideas have been instilled in us at a young age). Since that is not the case, I am secure in my relationship. Once Neelam returns from work, we catch up on the day’s happenings, kick back by solving a crossword together or chill out watching TV.”
Nothing beats being your own boss. Artist T.M. Aziz, who has been working from home for 12 years now, is grateful for the sense of freedom that it has bestowed on him. “I worked in a textile company as a designer for three years. The job was a tad too hectic and left me with no time for my art. This way, I get to do the work I love and make my own decisions. My wife is a teacher, and when she is out working, I take care of chores around the home such as making chapatis, chopping veggies and putting the clothes out to dry,” he says.
The wives too are thrilled at the prospect of coming home to someone instead of a dark and empty apartment. Sara Arakkal says, “It’s lovely to come home to my husband, and chat over a cup of hot tea.” Mayuri Upadhya, wife of musician Raghu Dixit, and artistic director of Nritarutya — Indian Contemporary Dance Company, says, “To see a happy face greet you with arms wide open is precious. Our situation wasn’t born out of a conscious decision, but due to the nature of our work. We defy the traditional definitions of the roles of a husband and wife. We don’t adhere to rules such as the woman taking care of the home and the male being the sole breadwinner. We take care of each other’s needs in the best way possible. Raghu can’t do without his signature South Indian meal. I am not a huge fan of cooking, I have hired a cook who will ‘cater’ to Raghu’s demands. And he is perfectly fine with it.”
Raghu jokes, “I am too busy with work to deal with chores, but I ensure the place is spic and span. One of the biggest advantages of this arrangement is that it gives me the right to say, ‘Why are you so late? Look, you made us miss our movie date!’ to my wife for once.”
He is thrilled that he gets to escape peak hour traffic, since his sound-proof home accommodates his music studio. “The only downside is that there are no timings to stick to, so I have no excuse to stop myself from getting up at 3 am if creativity strikes and heading to the studio.”