A tabloid has it that Deepika Padukone, when asked who she would rate higher, if she had to, a beau or her father, answered it would be her father. At least she’s sure he’s there for keeps. A sign of the times wouldn’t you say?
Relationships these days seem to come with an increasing factor of transience. What I’m ruminating on is whether
breakups can be about ‘parting as friends’ or, even if initially acrimonious can outgrow the raw hurt, resentment and the blame gambit and find a semblance of friendship? Having shared so much together logically one would expect so. But often the outcome is lastingly vitriolic. The question is should one advocate an endeavour towards amicability? Is it even possible?
I know for sure that it may not be simple but it is do-able. It is difficult to be just friends when high-octane passion has passed just a short while ago. But the best way is that you restrain aggression and personal attack that will damage your memory in the person’s mind forever. Low self-esteem, rejection and depression are side effects of a break up, so why pile on the tough times with bad mouthing each other to a smirking audience?
I’d recommend ensuring that there is no way to make it work before the decision to quit. Once that is a surety, discuss and try to work out the exit route together without disrespect. Always talk through the reasons with honesty and if things are getting very difficult have a third person present. Let your partner go with a semblance of the fragrant memory of the joie de vivre that you shared.
The ‘Let’s take a break’ route is a complete no-no. I’d always say don’t waste time and rework your life route alone, without false hope and waiting for a future that shall not be.
The writer is a designer and celebrity columnist