Love rings alarm bells

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How much is too much? Recently, radio jockey Sauvik Banerjee was arrested for allegedly sending vulgar text messages to his former instructor. The victim was the director of the broadcasting institute, where Sauvik was a student. The accused developed a one-sided infatuation for his instructor and started sending her vulgar messages.

While students affirm that having a crush on one’s teacher is common, especially in co-ed schools and colleges, there is an unsaid rule that one must keep this within limits and maintain and respect the dignity of the student-teacher relationship.
Leewanshi Singh, a Class 12 student of DAV School, shares, “When we had a new English teacher in our school, all the boys in our school stood near the canteen to look at her. But later, it became ugly, as they started passing lewd comments. She warned them, but when the situation went out of control, she complained to the authorities and students were suspended for a month.”
Puja Ahuja, an aspiring model reveals she had a crush on her college professor, but it remained a crush. She says, “I was in the first year of B.Tech and had a crush on my professor Mr Pun. He was very cute and I used to attend all his classes. I used to find reasons to be around him. He knew about it but it was clear to him that it was a respectful bond. When I participated in a state level beauty pageant, he especially came to cheer for me. But now when I think of it, I laugh over it. It is very important to maintain decorum in formal relationships. A teacher-student relationship should not lose its sanctity.”
However, school teachers feel that such cases are mostly part of colleges. Nina Sehgal, former principal, DPS Noida, says, “In schools, teachers are like guardians for students, so such cases never crop up. We follow certain guidelines and if any teacher or student, by way of their behaviour or gestures, gives a negative impression which can harm the dignity of the school, immediate action is taken against them.”
Requesting anonymity, a college professor says, “For a teacher, it is not difficult to know when a student has a crush on him/her. When I was teaching public relations at PG level, there were 2-3 students who I assume had a crush on me. But they never acted strange and I never sidelined them.”
Although some are random crushes, a few turn into serious affairs in colleges. Devika Dutta (name changed), a college student, talks about a teacher who was seriously involved with her classmate. “This young flirty teacher was over friendly with one of my batchmates. They would exchange messages and he’d give her extra marks. They would even hang out after college hours. I don’t care what he did in his private life, but he shouldn’t have mixed it with his professional life. According to university rules, a teacher cannot date a student, unless the student has passed out. Male teachers are not even supposed to accept Facebook requests.”
Although psychologists call it a natural thing if a student develops a liking towards his/her teachers, it is worrisome when an individual is not able to control his feelings. “It’s a part of growing up, but the case becomes a difficult matter, if one’s thoughts become an interference and distraction from other things. It can also be called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, if that liking develops into an uncomfortable act of harming himself and the one he has a crush on. This kind of personality disorder needs counselling. Sending vulgar messages is an electronic way of stalking or pestering a person and can turn harmful in the long run.”