So who’s the spoiler in your gang of pals?

[1]

Image for So who’s the spoil

Plan buster is a new term coined by youngsters for spoilsport friends who ditch them at the last minute or who call in at the 11th hour to cancel on a movie plan. Every group of friends has a couple of people who play the “plan spoilers,” say  youngsters.

Many vividly recall the scene from popular sitcom Friends where Phoebe plans her birthday dinner and only the perennially hungry Joey is on time. The rest of the gang find some excuse to turn in late. City youngsters say this is true in their lives too, not just in sitcoms.
Bhargavi M., a Class 12 student counts two spoiler friends in her group. Although they plan well ahead, two friends always make last minute changes. “This annoys the rest of us. Sometimes, they just say, ‘You carry on, I’m not interested’ or ‘I’ll come and join you guys later’, which doesn’t happen at all,” she says.
When this happens a cold war starts with the plan spoilers or an apology is demanded. But often friends just let things pass, she adds, “At the end of the day, they are our friends and there is no point in fighting.” 
 Some say their friends upset plans just to gain attention. Akaash K., a second year engineering student says his friends had planned a trip to Goa and had booked the rooms when a friend cancelled the day they were set to leave. “One friend sent a message to all of us saying, ‘Hey guys, I’m sorry, I will not be joining you. You enjoy, but don’t forget me.’ It was so disappointing as he is the who cracks silly jokes and keeps the team lively.”
Akaash says it took almost three hours to convince him to change his mind. “When asked the reason, he replied saying he wanted to see our reaction and see how much we value him. All my friends got irritated and warned him that would be the last time.” 
On the other side of the fence, Tharunya R., an interior design student, attempts to explain the viewpoint of the spoilers. “Whenever we make plans, I see to it that my friends do not fight with me or get into any argument as it really annoys me.” She is pretty clear that if someone is rude to her, she simply cancels on them and plans an outing with another group.
Tharunya says she hates being part of a group where people fight and then pretend to make up. “This is irritating, instead it is better to be away from it.”
She acknowledges that it is attention grabbing to spoil confirmed plans, but believes this shows how close your friends really are. “I keep telling them, be nice to me, else I will not  come. You become the important person in the group if you just refuse after the plans are made. After all, it is among friends and we do it for fun.”  

Shreesha S. Reddy
The Asian Age