When will our society arrive at a stage where people are not labelled winners and losers? Why are we always pitted against each other, made to compete for everything? Why do we make life so damn tough for others? I need to know this immediately,” says 14-year-old Prithvi.
Despite the philosophical nature of the questions you have raised, I am quite sure that one of the three things has recently happened to you:
1. You performed badly in a test or exam.
2. Some girl you fancied told you to get lost.
3. An older sibling, a teacher or a parent scolded you or called you a “loser” for something you did or did not do.
Even if none of these things have happened, get the word “loser” out of your head, now and forever. It should no longer exist in your vocabulary. Here’s why. There is a serious difference between losing and being a loser. Anyone and everyone who loses cannot be called a loser. In fact, no one who loses can be termed a loser. But the guy who gives up without even trying is a real loser.
We compete for everything because as humans, we are programmed to be eternally dissatisfied with whatever we have. It’s in our nature to fight with each other all the time. But don’t let that worry you. Conflict is a fact of life. Better prepare for it.
Don’t get philosophical and start feeling sad about the world either, for only stiff competition can bring out the best in you, sharpen your mind, strengthen your sinews, make a real man out of you.
So whether it’s the exam hall or the cineplex mall, you are going to be competing for marks, for chicks, for attention, for practically everything. You can’t get soft on the world and cry about why we make life so tough for ourselves.
Life would be boring without the spice of challenge, without obstacles and conflicts. Imagine if every boy had a proper girlfriend and everyone was going steady all the time... yuck! Where’s the spice of getting a “look” from someone who is already “booked”? Life would be like driving a thousand miles on a road that goes straight on a plain flat countryside. Where’s the scenery, where are the bends and turns, the bumps and uphill climbs?
If you have absolutely everything you want in life and there was nothing more to aspire for, you would die out of sheer boredom. If you have nothing in life and have given up wanting anything, your brain would shrink and wither away. So stop snivelling about life and become tough.
We all need an identity for ourselves. When you grow older, you need to look back and mark the milestones of your life and say “here is where I wrote my entrance exam”, or “on this day I won that trophy” or even “I was wearing this shirt when she walked out of my life”, or “on this very place we lost the finals”. All those milestones are nothing but obstacles you managed to overcome, or which overwhelmed you. Either way, they are great moments that defined your life.
So friend, forget about defeat and victory. Concentrate on being there and doing that. In life, even losing something after heroically trying is a very great achievement.
So stuff the philosophy and get your ass cracking. Sweat it out, bury your head in that book, get your sleeves dirty, whatever. Just get real with life.