Don’t ever be scared to be who you are
Suhel Seth is one of my closest friends. Whenever I see his BBM message that says “landed in Mumbai”, I get in touch with him and ask what his plans are before he gets regaled by a million others. His answer usually sounds like “5.30-6.30 I have a meeting with Ratan Tata to discuss an important issue. 6.30-7.30 I
am addressing an audience in a conference regarding (blah blah). 7.30-8.30 I am shooting for NDTV blasting Mayawati (on whatever the current thing is) and at 9 pm I am free to do whatever you want.” I then call the host of the party that I am attending that evening and every time, they are thrilled to have him.
I met Suhel years ago at a friend, Sunil Manchanda’s house. He was then running the agency Equus. He was new to some people in Mumbai and not known to most. On a flight from Delhi to Mumbai seven years ago, he chalked out a plan to structure my jewellery company when I was starting my business. “You have to have your own company email address,” he advised me. And then clearly told me how to go about it.
Before I knew it, he became one of the most popular confidantes in Delhi and much liked in Mumbai.
Suhel speaks from his heart if it’s an emotional issue and from his mind if it’s a business one. He usually does not mix these channels nor pollute his opinion depending on whom he speaks to. Rarely do I see him in awe of anyone, except maybe a beautiful woman. That’s the only time he mixes his opinions very quickly!
When he is giving his opinion on television and slamming some politician or the other, he does it fearlessly. “Don’t you worry about your life?” I asked him many times. “You will be shot one day!” “Firstly,” he answers, becoming serious, “I never attack people personally, but always their deeds if I don’t agree with them. Especially when it has had a negative impact on people.”
“Why don’t you join
politics?” I have often asked him. After all he has a
voice that is heard loud and clear. Again he scoffs, “You have to be a certain type of animal to be in politics. I could never be servile to politicians. Hence, I can never win an election.”
In Mumbai, Suhel launched his book Get To The Top: The Ten Rules For Social Success. Who better than to hear it from a man who knows “everyone there is to know”.
“I must admit that I am guilty of often having too many opinions,” writes the opinionated author. One of his mantras read: “Having opinions is the key to getting noticed”. Another mantra tells us not to judge people personally but their deeds instead.
Suhel is fiercely loyal and friendship means a great deal to him. He respects his friends and is always helpful if you need it. He doesn’t hesitate calling anyone in the world who can help you if you are his friend. In his book, his motto is that “friendship should always be based on equality”. His Rule Number 8 says “Always help if you can”.
The RSVP rule chapter describes how to handle a situation when you are double booked for an engagement on the same evening. His solutions are based on old value systems and friendship — something we all need to desperately remind ourselves.
“We are losing our value system and hence, losing ourselves,” he said pointedly, when I asked him why he decided to write the book. “Indian society is getting more aspirational, chasing riches and forgetting their own identities. Romance is down to ‘ly’ on BBM (meaning ‘love you’). People don’t write letters anymore. In fact, they hardly talk,” he said. This man, an adviser to many companies, owes his blunt but not malicious ways to his upbringing in Kolkata.
“The three lessons I learnt and stuck by are never to lie, never ever to shy away from taking a stand and never shirk from admitting you are wrong,” he says. “There is so much to do. Why do we crawl when we are asked to walk? Individuals today are willing to be herded by society.”
He then reiterates in his typical vociferous tone, “Most importantly, we must be fearless and not be scared to be who we are!”
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