Rakhi goes ouch about casting couch
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All varieties of freaks and monsters have a TV show dedicated exclusively to them. Darpok duffers have The Chair and Girls’ Night Out. Dandies have Get Gorgeous and randies have Dare to Date. Cheaters have Emotional Atyachaar and their victims have Axe Your Ex. Cooks have MasterChef India, and crooks have Bigg Boss. Jokey-jokey people also have their own ha-ha-he-he shows. But what about the Potty Dwellers? Yes, the sort who shit only to roll about in their, and others’, potty.
Andar ki baat yeh hai that the good people at Imagine were deeply depressed about the exclusion of the Potty Dwellers (PDs) and have been trying really hard to create a show which is of, by and for the PDs. Imagine first got PD Rahul Mahajan and many ugly lady PDs, but most lady PDs got constipated just looking at Rahul. Imagine tried again, with Desi Girl — here, PDs were in high heels and shorts, but they were shitting small, and rolling about only intermittently. So the Imagine people, desperate for a show the PDs could call home, met America’s chief PD, Jerry Springer, then contacted India’s own PD, Rakhi Sawant, and a show for PDs was born — Rakhi ka Insaaf.
Everyone on this show is a proud PD. The audience comprises kiraye-ke PDs who defecate on demand; the show’s participants are PDs who have been holding their potty for days just so they can let it all out in front of a camera, first in small chunks, and then a full big burst.
So host PD Rakhi invites, ek, ek karke, a gang of PDs. In the first episode I watched, PD Shabina was accusing her sister PDs of stealing her sons. As PD Rakhi started sifting through this family’s potty, it emerged that PD Shabina had been happily rolling about with one male PD who she was calling bhaiya by day and saiyan in late evenings. After PD Rakhi sorted out which potty belonged to whom, all PDs hugged apna-apna potty and left.
The next episode had two lady and one male PD. The lady PDs, both wanna-be heroines, were angry at the male PD because he had made lewd passes at them. The male PD was upset because his lewd antics had not amounted to any rolling — in potty, bed or on the casting couch. As PD Rakhi was trying to understand why the male PD was abusing the lady PDs with choicest gallis, she spotted the male PD’s friend staring at her bosom. Host PD shouted at breast-fixated PD so loudly that it will take him years at Baba Ramdev’s ashram to even attempt the potty pose.
Anyway, in between all this the lady PDs started throwing chappals at the male PD, who kept catching them and throwing them back. This potty-mela went on and on, and in the end, all were covered in glorious potty and were very, very happy.
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