Jaise har saal Diwali aati hai, rainy season mein keede-patange aate hain, vaise hi, at the onset of winter, har saal Bigg Boss (Colors) bhi aate hain.

It was appropriate that the 2nd Ladakh International Film Festival, which was inaugurated in the absence of its chief guest, Omar Abdullah, also closed without one. Manish Tiwari, the information and broadcasting minister, who was scheduled to give away the awards and close the festival, was requested by the organisers not to fly to Leh because of the embarrassingly low turnout. He obliged.

For the last 42 hours only one song has been playing in my head, and not just audio, but with full video. There I am, in a large room, playing a grand piano, while a small telly sits in front of me. My two friends stand at a distance, an evil smile dancing on their faces as they sip some golden fluid from flutes.

Three years is a long time to be out of sight in politics and showbiz.

Aaj kal na roads pe chalna, tehelna really mushkil ho gaya hai. I’m always scared that those two gori-gori chicks, Trinny and Susannah, will pounce on me.

Is your life worth being on TV, worth sharing with millions? No, not your special moments — not when you get married or have a baby, or get your dream job. Not those special outings, those awesome dates, hot-hot foreplay.

Hum sab ke apne-apne, personal, private tote, i.e. parrots, hote hain. No one can see these totas, but they mandarao around our heads and nest there. These totas are our antennas to the world and are the first to react to food, people, events, TV shows, in-laws.

Ek Star hota hai aur ek hoti hai Star Power. I’ve often wondered what exactly is this cheez — Star Power. Kya Star Power stars ko fly kara sakti hai? Kya Star Power stars ko invisible bana sakti hai? Kya Star Power se Taj Mahal ko lift kara ja sakta hai?

Kal ki baat hai, my phone rang just as I had gone to sleep and was galloping on a white horse...
Tring tring. Tringgg tringgg.

Sherlyn Chopraji, after prancing around nangu-pangu for the pleasure of 87-year-old Hugh Hefner, and playing naughty bunny on his centre spreads, has returned to India and found gainful employment. Who else in India but our TV honchos would have the sort of respect that her impressive credentials and vitals deserve?