Farrukh Dhondy

DHONDY.JPG

Farrukh Dhondy

A sufi, a princess and Ghalib

“In love and war Abjure all doubt —
Figure it out, Figure it out!” From Summa Bachchoolika

Talking to friends on their way to India I observe, among other insights and clichés, that the monuments of the Muslim era are all tombs or mosques. The

An English autumn

“Tell it like it is
Don’t say what you ought:
Language is but
The Avatar of Thought.”

From A Charioteer’s Advice to Indians
(Tr. by Bachchoo)
Serious fruit-picking this week! From the garden of a friend who shall, to preserve the secret of his laden orchards from those who would importune him and his lady wife next season and deprive me of my pickings, remain nameless.

Starkey and his black & white world

“The bee has only one weapon
Like the suicide bomber it dies
Using it.”

From The Military Manuals
(Ed. Bachchoo)

The riots in urban Britain were reported and their significance exaggerated in every country to which satellites beam television and where the Internet is available.
Some of the international coverage saw Britain breaking out in symptoms of a deep malaise. One comment in an Indian publication was succinct in its smugness. It simply said “Welcome to the Third World”.

Mirror, mirror, who’s to be master of all?

“If Papa say ‘no!’
And Mama say ‘yes!’
What a mess, what a mess, what a mess.

If less is more
And more is less
With every aphorism we regress

Why every sneeze
Must draw a ‘bless’

Generally speaking

“Where is the girl who stole the sunlight?
Burnt to a crisp, she’s gone without trace-
We treat them as deities, twinkling and bright
Though we know stars are only explosions in space.”

The politics and pretension of words

“Chappatis Are what you need, my friend
‘Cos there aren’t Enough naans To go round!”

From The Antoinettenama by Bachchoo

Once again someone has cranked up the debate about the Indian national anthem illicitly, including the territory of Sind. It’s a trivial complaint. Tagore’s celebration of the everlasting (well, till the planet is hit by a meteor or the Sun implodes) geography of the subcontinent shouldn’t be tampered with despite the feeble objections of Pakistan.

Gangs of England

“So much agreement So much amity
They lie in their graves In permanent gravity...”

From What Are You Talking, Yar by Bachchoo

A crude British joke poses the question: “Why do dogs lick their genitals?” Answer: “Because they can!” The riots that started in north London and spread in a few hours to other parts of the capital and in 24 hours to Birmingham, Bristol, Liverpool, Manchester and other cities are testimony to this rule of possibility. The riots happened because they could.

Sting theory

“A bridge may connect
Isolate quarters
But it does nothing
To calm troubled waters.”

From Join the Rejoinders
by Bachchoo
In the ’90s, when I worked for Channel 4 (UK), a news and views programme I supervised, called The Bandung File, set out to examine the procedures by which Labour Party candidates were allocated what the Indian electoral system calls “tickets” — the nomination to stand as a party’s representative in an election.

Fundamental facts

“Religion is reality — Sing to the divine tune;
Literature is reality — The cow jumped over the moon!”

From Please Yaar by Bachchoo
This week the British government, in the person of its foreign secretary, the bald, baby-faced wonder William
Hague, expelled the eight remaining diplomats of the Gaddafi regime from their embassy in Central London.

Creative journalism

From the heights of the Himalayas Almost at heaven’s door
Comes the plaintive cry of the Yetti ‘Nevermore, nevermore, nevermore!
’”
From A la Recherche du Calls Mating by Bachchoo

The closest thing in my memory to Britain’s now defunct News of the World was the weekly run by R.K. Karanjia called Blitz.

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I want to begin with a little story that was told to me by a leading executive at Aptech. He was exercising in a gym with a lot of younger people.

Shekhar Kapur’s Bandit Queen didn’t make the cut. Neither did Shaji Karun’s Piravi, which bagged 31 international awards.