Difficult times strengthen you

Jul 14, 2013

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Ask Anupam

I am living with a widow, who is HIV positive, and her two children since last few weeks. I haven’t told my family members about this as I have an unmarried sister and this may have a negative effect on her marriage prospects. After my sister gets married, I want to marry this woman. The two children are really affectionate towards me. They think of me as their dad and I too take care of them in the same way. We both love each other a lot. I feel guilty sometimes about hiding my feelings from my family. I keep thinking if society will accept our relationship. Please advise.
Raghuveer

A. I understand and respect your feelings and every step you wish to take has the right intent behind it. I think you are a wise man and whether you tell your family anytime soon or later would not affect the fact that your intention is for the best. But you know the people around you better, so you know how you should go about it so that it doesn’t hurt anybody involved.

My younger sister, who is very much like my mom — outgoing, funny, extrovert — always gets more attention than me. My sister has always charmed her way through life and never really had to work for anything. When we were in school, she got away even after being wrong because of her funny streak. Everybody has always loved her more than me. No matter what I do, I am never appreciated. I feel ignored. What should I do?
Sonali
A. I’m sorry you feel neglected. It is a tough feeling. But I think you have nothing to worry about. When we go through tough times we learn to pick ourselves up and go through life in a better way in other tough situations.
Also, change your circle and your way of life. Go out more. The more you think about your sister and mother, the more it will hassle you. And if it still bothers you, then speak to your mother about it. Try to focus on yourself. Do things you like, whether it’s music or dance or sports or studies. Get away emotionally from this situation and very soon it won’t bother you at all. All the best.

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