Do your bit to stop gender oppression

Jan 20, 2013 - Anupam Kher

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Ask Anupam

Q. I work at a publication house. I recently went to interview one of our high profile clients. During the interview he behaved decently. However, as I was about to leave, he got up and kissed me on my cheek. I was very angry and upset. I came back to office and told my boss about it. But my boss refused to take action saying that he is an important client. I am on leave for last four days and can’t decide if I should join back or not. Can you guide me what to do about it?
Anonymous

A. In some cultures people kiss each other on the cheek to greet them. It also exists in India in cities amongst certain people. However, if you were uncomfortable or sensed that something was wrong about the incident, you could have told the person concerned that his gesture has made you uncomfortable. He would apologise. If he didn’t and exercised his power to intimidate you, then his intent was not right. This is the problem we are dealing with across sections of society. We take a woman for granted and exercise or oppress them to display power. It is truly sad that incidents like this occur daily. We have to do our bit to stop it. You don’t have to tolerate it at all. Please put your foot down. You must write to your boss and explain it to him. Express your displeasure.

Q. I’m a 27-year-old girl. Sometimes, I lose my temper very easily, especially when I see somebody misbehaving with a woman, elderly or a weak person. During a family function recently, I got into a fight with a cousin who spoke rudely to some relatives who were elder to him but couldn’t respond, as he was from the host family. Nobody had any issues with the cousin (as he is a guy) after the tiff, but most of them felt that being a girl I should have been “polite”. How do you think the mindset can be changed? Do you think I was at fault?
Anonymous

A. I think we are going in the wrong direction as a nation with the way we deal with our women, our elders. We live in a country where disregard of women is an understood notion. Please put your foot down. You are not at fault. You are equal to all the members of your family. In fact, superior for caring about elders and at times even strangers. Don’t let this mindset change or affect you at all. You must be proud of yourself for the kind of person you are. I just want to tell you that I’m extremely proud of you. All the best.

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