Realise the strength of optimism

Sep 23, 2012 - Anupam Kher

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Ask Anupam

Q.I am a 21-year-old girl studying engineering. Last year, I got some subjects in backlog and I am not allowed to attend the college. My parents are not aware of this. My problem is that I want to leave engineering and do some other course. Please tell me how I can convince my parents to agree to this.
Anonymous

A. First of all, you will have to explain to your parents that engineering is not your cup of tea. Maybe showing your parents your results will help. Also, if your parents want you to pursue anything, they are convinced that it will get you a job, a reputable degree and a secure future. What you could do is also figure out what you want to do. Find the college that provides you the course and also explain to your parents the kind of job you will be getting and most importantly, tell them that you will be happier in the process.

Q. Dear sir, how do you live the life of an optimist? Isn’t it tiring?
Anonymous

A. Living the life of an optimist is definitely less tiring than other thoughts that bog you down. Even if we are making an effort to be optimistic, we prepare our mind and body to function in a manner that helps you deal with people and work efficiently without upsetting or draining yourself of your emotions. Also for me I feel happier. You know you always lose some and win some and things or events that are not in your control do make us happy or sad, etc., but what we think and how we wish to behave is in our hands. We have to develop it. I was brought up by optimistic parents, and I realise the strength in being like that.
Q. I am a postgraduate student. I came to know about the characteristics of a loser through a newspaper column. These are people who day-dream, live in a fake world where they are unaware of or avoiding practical truths, etc., and I found that I could identify with them. Now I am confused about what should be my thinking. Help me.
Anonymous

A. Columns are written by people based on experiences so that they help the reader in dealing with their lives and problems. What we must realise is that everything that is published is not meant for everyone. Reading is a great way of learning. But we have to see what will work for us and what will not. Having said that, I don’t mean that we should develop escapist habits. To focus, you could fix an hour a day like 9 to 10 and work on yourself — on your studies, developing your skills, etc. Then slowly and steadily when you realise that you are being able to focus very well, increase the time. Do this sincerely and I’m sure your confidence in your already existing abilities will increase. You will recognise your strengths. Relax.

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