For the game of love

for the game.JPG

When Shama Sikender declared her relationship with Alexx O’Nel, many of her admirers were heartbroken. Alexx and Shama met through friends at a sundown party, and she was won over nearly immediately after he played some music for her.

They were his own compositions based on his experiences, to be featured in an album that will release soon. The words were so deep that they touched Shama, and she became a fan. They connected, and their relationship has been one sans pretensions, where she didn’t see any reason to be clandestine. “If there is something special in your life, then you have to declare it with much joy. There is nothing to hide. I have always wanted to have a relationship that I could shout about from the rooftops. I feel love makes you fearless and open,” avers Shama.
Coming from an orthodox Muslim family, her picking a man from America after years of being single was met with surprise — from family and friends alike. But Shama is delighted with her choice. A free-spirited girl who has been the family’s main provider, she was used to independence and freedom. It’s a relationship in which Alexx doesn’t bind her — whether with a view on what she should wear, or whom she should speak to. “When a person is bound, it doesn’t nurture a relationship. It shouldn’t be about ‘have to be’ with someone but a “want-to-be” situation. He just allows me to be me,” she explains.
“I was going through a low phase due to the many ups and downs in my personal and professional life. I just didn’t know how to make myself happy. Alexx filled that breach beautifully. He brings me such joy. I hadn’t been in a relationship for a long time. Alexx is a person who gives independence, space and liberation, so that you want the relationship, she adds.
“I do enjoy just the right amount of possessiveness. It’s charming. But the balance has to be so perfect. Too much and the cracks appear. The secret is that while people believe by binding a person you hold onto them, the truth is totally opposite. I’m sharing this secret after much experience – you hold onto anyone too strongly and they suffocate. But leave them free to fly in your company and they’ll always come back from wherever they go,” is Shama’s forever philosophy.
Living in a world of glamour as they do, they do have their share of possessiveness, but not jealousies. A lot of Shama’s friends mention the fact that she’s different in that she doesn’t feel jealousy at all. “Dominating and changing a person you love is the beginning of the end. You love someone the way he is so why would you want to change him into someone he isn’t,” she says. She continues, “A person is a person in his own right first. Only then, do
they belong to someone else. If you forget yourself in a relationship, then the problems begin. I have mostly male friends and I go out with them often. It is very important to go around, flirt a little bit, then come back home. In fact, it makes you love your partner even more.”
There is a complete lack of imposition in the equation Alexx and Shama share; to the extent that they take one day at a time, and there is no discussion about marriage. “Probably there is much more happiness between us than I see in many other relationships, because we don’t think of the future,” she concludes.

Comments

Nisha, this is such a lovely

Nisha,
this is such a lovely article! Its a pleasure to feature in an article by, undoubtedly, the most articulate lifestyle writer in the industry. Now, a few months down the line, I'm happy to report that we're already a number of songs into recording on the album - I look forward to sharing it with you soon.
Love, Thanks, and Friendship,
Alexx

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