Q. I am 25 and working for a medical transcription company. A year ago I joined a PG course where I met a girl who is also a Muslim. I have struggled a lot to get this job. I do not take girls for granted, I respect them. But soon as I proposed to this girl, she stopped accepting my calls and did not talk to me. My question is: I did not tell her I am interested in a long term relationship with her (marriage), should I proceed further and ask her opinion regarding this or should I accept her decision and respect it? We both have another semester to go and then placements. I am continuing both my course as well as my job, which is my bread and butter.
Thouhid
A. I think you are a great guy. You have your priorities in place and that is wonderful. I think she has given her response. If you move on now she might like you and start talking to you or probably think about what you said or maybe just remain your friend. If you ask her over and over again, it will just garner negative emotions for both of you. So it’s better to move on, work harder and be peaceful. You will eventually find a companion. I know it’s human to want to be in a relationship but only a healthy one lasts and gives one happiness and joy. It has to be two-sided. That’s the beauty of a mutual, honest, fun and happy relationship. You will find it someday. All the best!
Q. I am in a real dilemma. Four years ago I fell in love with a girl when I was doing my engineering and it was love at first sight. I still cherish that feeling. For the initial six months or so, I was in a different world. I am very reticent by nature, so before I could convey my feelings to her, it was too late. She got into another relationship. For fear of rejection, I never tried to approach her. Now I am finding it very difficult to move on. Please help!
Anonymous
A. Sometimes when we are very young we tend to get caught up with too many emotions, our fears, and many other things are sometimes exaggerated especially about the person we fall in love with. A relationship is healthy when you don’t over-indulge. Unfortunately, when we are young we tend to daydream. This may stem from boredom, the need to be loved or from the natural process of liking someone. However if we learn to understand the differences we will be able to use all that nervous energy and focus on doing something far more constructive.
So, while I respect your feelings I suggest you truthfully ask yourself if you would like to get into someone else’s equation and do the above things make sense to you? You will have your answer. Being emotionally healthy is so important and being realistic and focusing on the right things in life will strike that balance for you!