I am a 17-year-old girl doing my Class 12. I am jovial, funny and helpful. A friend of mine whom I know for a year or so is in love with a guy for the last six months. She talks only to me about their relationship. No one else knows about it. She asks for my advice/help if there is any sort of misunderstanding between them. I advise her and they settle down. Now the thing is she doesn’t talk to me after that until some other problem arises between them. I am in a situation that I can’t tell anyone about our friendship and the things that she shares with me. Is she treating me as her “best friend” or as “a stranger”? Should I talk to her about it? Is she “using me”?
Note: I am not in a relationship. I am sure they love each other sincerely and so I am helping them out. Is it wrong?
Anonymous
A. Well, your friend needs a good confrontation. You need to tell her that she can be less selfish. Sometimes people don’t realise their behaviour. She might realise only after you speak to her. Also, you can trust her enough to make it clear to her that she needs to treat you better than she is and know that she will. Don’t worry. It’s very easy to make a final judgment and walk away from relationships. Maintaining friendships and relations is equally important. All the best. She does take you as a friend as she tells you things that mean a lot to her.
Q. Many people have been asking me about the protests against, or protest for making amendments to law in order to protect women and ensure their safety. Via twitter etc, they ask me how I feel about it.
A. First of all, as a society we should be ashamed of ourselves for letting things go out of hand. I had written about corruption in one of my articles. Basically, as a nation we have replaced every emotion, value and feeling with greed. Education, jobs, business — how many of us do it with passion or responsibility? Everything is a means to an end. The end being money. Including our government of India (GOI). This has taken values out of education. Teachers, bus company owners, people who hire watchmen for their buildings, drivers who take kids to school — how many of us make sure that, apart from financial responsibility, we educate them about work ethics? Parents have taken the joy out of kids education. They learn up their text books and go for exams because their parents are too ambitious for them. There is regression and repression everywhere. Above all, there is no fear of law and order. All of us are corrupt and have allowed this to happen. Today, a few days after the rape case, we have stopped asking the right questions and have moved on to other things. Let’s get answers this time. Let’s set it right. We don’t want our children, our relatives and our fellow citizens to ever have to face a situation like this ever again.
We have already forgotten the questions we didn’t get answers to — how did the bus go about unnoticed by the police, who are the rapists, why did they not tape her description, has her friend identified them, do we have the right people? The law makers will move on. They will get into other issues. We have to keep the pressure and ask the right questions. How many of us stood up against corruption? How many of us stand up? Not a single leader stood up, took responsibility, answered questions, spoke or said anything. The law and order and the judiciary in our country are such that we wouldn’t dare seek justice. If we ask questions, take time to notice things around us, educate our children, take charge, take responsibility to influence people around us we can bring about a huge change. I sincerely hope, as a nation, we don’t have to see a day like this ever again. Progress doesn’t mean buying a multinational company and employing thousands of people. We are a rich country, so it’s not a big deal. Progress is of mind and culture. We are a stagnant society, a regressive one. Unfortunately, betterment means earning money. But I hope GOI and citizens seek a new meaning when they speak of betterment. Let’s lend our support to the brave young girls and women and men of Delhi who are protesting for the benefit of the whole country. Let’s ask questions, let’s hold people accountable, let’s lend our support to victims, and not judge or make them feel vulnerable. Let’s educate ourselves and people around us. Take responsibility and become the great nation we are destined to be. Money is a small part of it.
Links:
[1] http://archive.asianage.com/anupam-kher-361
