The news is full of outraged people asking for justice, but I think no one is looking into the real causes. Why are girls getting sexually assaulted or molested in such numbers all across India? Has anyone looked into long-term solutions? What’s the truth of the matter?
— A teenager from New Delhi.
What’s the truth of the matter? The truth is that in many homes across the nation, men get drunk and beat their wives. Go to any local basti in your city and you will see this happening at nights. Someone is screaming, someone is begging for mercy, someone is crying, some unfortunate woman is being dragged, slapped and punched by her drunken husband. No male from any other home comes to help, because they too do it to their women at other times. If it gets too much, a few women will gather and try and calm things down. But they all know they cannot stop it from happening again. Children watch this from the side, huddled and afraid. Over time the child accepts it as normal behaviour. Over time the boy will grow into a man, start off on alcohol and whenever he is frustrated that society isn’t giving him his due, he will direct his anger towards his wife just the way his father did.
Rape isn’t about sex. It’s about violence. It’s about the grim satisfaction a perverted male gets when he sees a woman screaming, begging for mercy and crying her heart out. It’s about his morbid assertion of male superiority. Rape starts at home. It’s inside the mind. Before a man actually tries to assault a woman, he would have fantasised about it hundreds of times. Any policeman will tell you that no man rapes silently. He shouts out words that are full of perverse meaning and morbid fulfillment. He is venting his rage and frustration, trying to extract satisfaction from delivering punishment to his victim.
Find a way to get men to respect women. That’s where the real policing should be. Whenever a mother or a daughter gets beaten up, the whole locality has to rise and make it a big issue. Huge pressure has to be applied. It has to become socially unacceptable. The assaulter has to be put through a behavioural mind bender till he breaks and mends his ways. There are places in India like Gujarat or Goa where you can see a completely different picture. Women walk out alone on the streets even late at nights, calmly returning home from work. Families sit on street benches, laughing and chatting. You won’t find the late night screaming and abusing of a Delhi basti. You will find peace as they sleep blissfully. Bring peace to homes. You’ll get peace on the streets.