Bharat desh main na hum logon ko dance karne ke liye koi reason nahin chahiye hota. Bus music chahiye hota hai, and we can begin our “chest-chest hip-hip” routine anywhere, anytime. Arre, hamare toh gods bhi dance karte hain — sometimes to patao girls, sometimes to express gussa, and sometimes because a snake’s hiss-hiss is pissing them off. That’s precisely why hamare yahan reality dance shows are so popular, and so many. So what if sab ke sab ek-doosre ke clones hain.
Ab Dance India Dance Doubles (Zee) ko hi dekh lo. It has three small-time choreographers as Master Judges, and one Grand Master Judge, Mr Pelvic Thrust himself. Master Judges make pairs, choreograph dances and the other judges and Mithun-da judge them.
The show has kids from small towns, all eager and sweet, and with dreams and dukhi stories. DIDD is less about dance and more about these kids’ journey to their sunehre sapne. So, in between dances, there is lots of senti-talk and tears.
The dances are sometimes very good, but mostly average. Like the show’s judges and anchors — sexy Shweta Salve with one toddler — the dances lack finesse. But last week toh kamal hi ho gaya. One Master Judge, Shaimak Davar’s chappu Marzi Pestonji, fully copied a dance routine from an American dance show. Chee! Chee! Cheating!
Chak Dhoom Dhoom (Colors) is another also-ran show. Yahan bhi there are three judges and groups of girls and boys from small towns. Though the judges give the contestants interesting challenges, this dance show is very dull-dull, boring-boring. Aur iska reason yeh hai that the judges — Javed Jaffrey, Urmila Matondkar and Terence D’Sousa — seem to be on pakki-kuthi. They have no connect, barely look at each other, and seem desperate to go home. Don’t bother with Chak DD. It’s been jinxed from the word go by Mallika Sherawat’s hissing cleavage.
Finally, of course, there is Jhalak Dikhla Ja (Sony), with Remo, Malaika Arora and Madhuriji. This show has the most entertaining judges and the show’s anchor, Balle-Balle Mona Singh, is full of charming beans. Here the funda is the same as Strictly Come Dancing/Dancing With The Stars — one choreographer, one celebrity.
A-plus judges, Shushant and Yana in the finals, and Mona Singh’s bak-bak, hai, what more does one want. But Jhalak is soon going to end and Madhuriji is going to return to antiseptic Amrika, leaving us all sad-sad. But happy news yeh hai that one of the TV channels is soon going to get Mr Twinkle Toes with One Extra Finger to judge a dance show. Hai, Azeem-O-Shaan Shahenshah of dance himself. Marhaba! Marhaba!