Crimebusters rule...
Kalyug main Bhagwanji ka prakop hamare paapi sansaar pe full force mein hai. Bad-bad people and their bad-bad kartootein din-ba-din increase hoti jaa rahi hain. Jahan dekho wahan khoon, Rakhi Sawant ke TV shows, Amitabh Bachchan ka hamse bar-bar bichadna (KBC 5), aur Ichcha-Tapasya ka ladna-jhagarna.
In times like this, if there is any hope ki kiran, it is Sony TV. These good people cover all the bases of crime and criminals. Crime Patrol probes criminal tendencies, Prayaschit gives chor-uchakke a chance to say sorry to all the people they made dead, and for all innocent people charged with murder, there’s K.D. Pathak on Aadalat. But Sony’s Brahmastra is CID.
Kasam paida karne walle ki, agar laash hai toh khooni hai, khooni hai toh motive hai, motive hai toh story hai, aur story hai toh CID ke jaanbaaz and daler officers hain. ACP Pradyuman, Abhijit, Daya, Frederick et cetera return every disembodied, roving eyeball to its rightful, if dead, owner, and trace every killer bride, business partner, padosi and premi. Har lapata body is a challenge for these hoshiyar detectives and their forensic buddies. Nothing escapes their eyes, ears, guts.
A recent episode I watched was about a little birthday girl and a blinking doll her father had ordered on the Internet. As soon as the doll was unwrapped, its eyes popped out, fell on the floor and started staring at the birthday girl and her friends. These were no ordinary doll eyes. They were real, green eyes. Guests quietly put their samosa-and-cake plates down and left.
Enter the CID team. One by one, all the officers stared back at the eyes, but the eyes gave away nothing. So they pocketed them and took them to forensic experts who told the detectives three things: One, the eyes did not belong to a cow but to a human; two, they belonged to a female human; and three, they were made to pop out when the female human was alive.
Bus, phir kya tha, the team traced the doll website which led them to a bizarre story about a bizarre sculptor with a bizarre eye fetish. Aah, the CID officers thought, we've got our eye-popper! But the sculptor was old, paralysed, ready to pop off himself. And to make matters worse, five dead bodies popped up — all with their eyes gouged out, and a ball of cactus choking their vocal chords.
Ordinary detectives may get frustrated, but not our CID guys. They have a tried and tested case-cracking technique: Repeat two inane facts of the case several times over. Then pause, pretend to think, and 45 seconds later scream, “Katil ka pata lag gaya.”
If only these CID guys were to start investigating all the missing/swapped husbands, brides and children on other channels, our lives would get bahut behtar.
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