Milking a tragedy

sanjay 4.JPG

Hamare television ke creative heads bhi kamal hain. Give them any subject – global warming, bijli ki samasya, dayan mehangai, ghoos khori, mosquitoes ki badhti aabadi... just about any scenario, syappa or kalesh and they will turn it into a moral mahayudh between two women, one of whom will have a dashing love interest strutting about on the side.

American film walle bhi yeh karte hain, but they mostly use gents and their syappas are almost always a direct threat to their desh from sometimes earthly, but mostly galactic creepy-crawlies. But we desis, because of our deep-deep bhakti and prem for mothers, especially Mother India, turn everything into a ladies-only affair. Which, if expressed in the style of a filmy antakshari between two teams, amounts to one pavitra lady singing Ae Malik tere bande hum, aise hon hamare karam... while the paapi lady gyrates her bum and croons, Mera naam hai Shabnam, pyar se log mujhe Shabbo kahte hain, tumhara naam kya hai...
Ab who would have thought that the 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks could also be twisted into such an emotional mahila morcha. But here it is, on 2612 (Life OK).
The serial’s story is simple. Some bad-bad log from outside our country are hell bent on spreading aatank hi aatank in Mumbai on 26/12. They entrust this operation to Shahana, the young, svelte widow of the original mastermind, Malik. In Mumbai lives a sweet, unmarried girl, Rashmi, whose pet name is Lallu. Though she’s a simple, aam girl who teaches tiny tots, her insides are made of Rani Lakshmi Bai steel. Because hamare TV walle subtle nahin hain, evil Shahana has been given a sartorial style that is shamelessly inspired by Hina Rabbani Khar, while Lallu dresses like trains and autos mein dhakke khane waali young Bharatiya nymphet.
Shahana's Bharat-ki-barbadi ka plan rests on procuring some button cells, one micro chip and, eventually, a nuclear bomb. For this she needs the assistance of her very good looking second-in-command in Pathani suits — Jadda, one London-based Indian scientist, his kidnapped bachchi and biwi and one dance bar item. Oh, and of course the dedicated services of a babysitter for her newborn.
Lallu gets pulled into saving her desh because, a) the scientist is her jijaji, b) her badi didi has been swapped with a wicked humshakal, c) her good brother and daddyji have been bumped off, and, d) she is developing soft-soft feeling for Randeep Rathore of Mumbai’s Special Task Force.
What do you think will happen? A repeat of 26/11? Nahin, never. That same small screen which has left us with unbearable images of the Taj hotel and baby Moshe, will offer us a catharsis if TRPs permit.
Despite the mahila mandal, 2612 is one of those rare serials — it’s cleverly crafted, often shot on-location and has some good actors to boot. It is bound to flop.

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