Still from Star Plus’ Saath Nibhaana Sathiyaa

Hai, kya se kya ho gaya, do hazaar barah mein. Ek toh hamare TV ki abadi bahut increase ho gayi. In several serial parivaars we got khilkhilate, chehekte bachche, and the ones that already had children, now have annoying nau-jawan log.

Then there’s the growing number of devi-devtas, and now, with a serial where a chudail is conniving to be the “woh” in a pati-patni affair, telly population is not just going to grow, but acquire other-worldly charm, too.
2012 was also the year when celebrity dance show Jhalak Dikhla Jaa gave us two people we will see a lot more of — entertainment-ki-potli Manish, the show’s anchor, and dance ki devi Isha Sharvani. Hai! She’s like a pari pirouetting on dharti in search of her wings.
Ichcha, Tapasya, Veer and their syappas are still circling the same roundabout, while Anandi has taken the road to bliss with Shiv.
But these log are not the real telly stars of 2012. To honour the real champions we have decided to give away three medals — Bronze, Silver and Gold.
Aur is saal ka Bronze Medal goes to Star Plus because they are inculcating a very precious quality in Bharatiya parivaars — patience. If you’ve watched any of their prime time serials, you’ll know that Star Plus ke shows chalte nahin hain, crawl karte hain. Let’s say there’s a bahu on Star Plus who wants to learn how to make simple, everyday rotis. In Episode 1, the bahu will face a dramatic situation where ghar ki izzat will depend on her roti-belloing skills. Somehow the day will be saved but Ms Roti Virgin will be left shaken. In Episode 2, we will follow her listless, clad-in-sari body all around the house and to the kitchen where she will stare devotedly at women belloing rotis. Episode 3 will be spent by bahu wondering who she should call for the roti recipe. In Episode 4, her husband will ask, “Bhabhi bol rahi thi ki tumhein roti belna nahin aata?” Bus, marital crisis.
In Episode 5, bahu’s saas will ask, “Lalla nashta kiye bina he chala gaya. Sab theek hai na?” Now full-on agony for at least 12 episodes, with saas making stern faces, bahu wringing her hands, while bad bhabhi sniggers behind a pillar. And so this will go on, till the next such momentous crisis and then the next...
This year’s Silver Medal goes to Ekta Kapoor’s Bade Achche Lagte Hain for giving us our first smouldering hot suhaag raat. We got serious caressing, heaving, touching, even a lip-lock. And not everything was done by Ram. Priya took the initiative as well. First, she boldly went where no woman on telly has been before — she locked the bedroom door. And then she took Ram by the hand and guided him, even got on top for some passionate pecking. All in all, hamare desh ke uncles and aunties had a very good night that night and they’d just like to say thank you.
And now, finally, the Gold Medal, which goes to hamari duniya ke rakhwale, Aamir Khanji for Satyamev Jayate. We spent 13 Sundays with him, tackling desh ki 13 samasyas. Logon ne bahut kuch bola, criticise kiya, maine bhi, but kahin na kahin, kuch toh shift hua hai. Kahin na kahin se himmat aayi hai, to say, ab bus.
Mujhe Aamir Khanji ke godly, glowing avatar se bahut problem hai. Woh celluloid genius hain, emotions manipulate karna jaante hain. I’m also uneasy with the fact that he made more than Rs 45 crore doing path-pradarshan. But, shayad, Anna Hazareji ke strange pravanchanon se, or Aamir Khanji ke sawalon se, kuch toh change hua hai.
Maine yeh change dekha hai, aapne bhi. December mein, us thithurti Saturday ko, Raisina Hill pe, when young boys and girls stood there, with Nirbhaya, aur ek saath, ek awaaz mein, police aur prashasan ko keh rahe the, “Ab, bus. Ab aur nahin sahenge.”
Us din, Aamirji, aap ki bahut yaad aayi.