Woes, woes, it’s one of those. He Hindu, she Christian. And even though religious differences are narrowing, here’s an old-fashioned ro-ro-romance that’s mega-harrowing.

Now, now, I’ve never ever heard of or seen just-about-to-weds stage a preview of their shaadi, and its preceding love story, and that too at a film awards event. Huh, whatever happened to the supposedly mild-mannered Riteish Deshmukh and the smile machine Genelia D’Souza?

Khalid Mohamed

No winking. Eyes are a lethal weapon in the armoury of actors. Those who don’t know how to — or refuse to — act with their eyes end up delivering mediocre to lousy performances. They may be the most-wanted desserts after caramel custard but sorry they won’t be remembered as actors of calibre.

Khalid Mohamed

I don’t know what happened. When I saw her alighting from a taxi the other day in Mumbai, it was in slow motion, every strand of her hair tossing in the wind, huge whirlpool eyes g.g.gaping at me and her hands waving the cab driver off with a tip. Slow did I say? She’s anything but.

Khalid Mohamed

Guys, you have to come with me to Mumbai’s Lokhandwala complex. Every second man, woman and child there is a movie star in the making. Babies who can barely toddle are dolled up in ribbons-‘n’-lace to audition for diaper commercials. Even pomeranians are shampooed-‘n’-styled for their street strolls just in case a talent scout is looking for a doggy hero for a 3-D animal adventure flick. Woof, yeh mohabbat.

It’s an either-or situation. New Year’s Eve means either looking back in anger OR looking forward with affection.

Khalid Mohamed

A lot can happen over chai. Once over 300 Irani tea-shops in Mumbai were as intrinsic to the city as streetside cafes are to Paris.
During the 1950s-60s, the unfussy restaurants-cum-stores flourished, attracting a regular clientele of senior citizens, office-goers, campus students, writers and artists.

Belles jingle, dudes self-drive their BMWs — why give the chauffeur his five minutes of fame on Page Eeeee? — flutes of bubbly are immediately offered as if on a business class airflight, and zilch happens right till the wee minutes of the morning. Party hearty guys, it’s that time of the season.

When ladies vanish, I worry. Are they spending their time gainfully? Are they watching the clouds drift by? Smelling the florist’s roses?

They love it, they love it not. Now that The Dirty Picture is solid gold at the ticket windows, the dream merchants — film producers and corporation types — are once again turned on by sex, in the movies that is.