Lawyers beware. If you lose a property case, your client might just beat you up black and blue outside the court.

Nowadays there are these unconventional — a thousand cheers for that — but dissatisfying films which leave me rattled. Is it enough just to be decidedly different? Shouldn’t a film appeal on its own terms, whether hyper-commercial or raw-‘n’-realistic?

Cops hop, spin like tops, even as your interest in them drops.

It just has to get wet, wet, wet, on a Sunday morning, and fear dangles over movie-land once again. Memories of the July 26, 2005, nightmare return in the manner of Banquo’s ghost.

It’s vaultingly ambitious.

1 Get a friend of a friend to submit your script — written by candlelight over a decade — to a production company which is desperate for ‘content’.

Chweet, so sweet. Aapro Rusi cooks, cleans, tucks his son into bed, casts a loving glance at his cranky dad, and believe it or collapse, insists on paying a fine on scootering through a red traffic light. Fright.

MISS GULAB

He’s no ace of face. A goon goes into a swoon — in a gargantuan close-up — about the foul deeds which are about to erupt in a couple of moons.

Do take note: they don’t sprint around trees any more. They don’t shout out loud to almost deaf mothers that they have “passed first class first” at the University Board exams.