Now a Mumbai-manufactured movie without a song-‘n’-dance is like Hamlet without the Prince of Denmark. Right? Criticise the irrelevant outburst of hippy happy shakes, deride them as “item numbers”, but without them, there’d be no salt or caramel in your tub of popcorn.

It’s an unscribbled rule of show business. Beauty pageant winners are expected to become the Next Big Heroines, as soon as they are crowned with those sparkling tiaras and air-kissed with a hundred muaaahs on stage.

Awards — everyone loves them but declaim from the rooftops, “Aaargh, who believes in them anyway?” B’wood is an orchard of sore losers.

Clothes maketh the actor? I’m not quite sure about that, going by the suits as well as the casuals being ramp-walked in the movies nowadays. The fashion du jour is dictated, currently, by Salman Khan of course. That means super-tight shirts and vests which the Dabangg dude can explode from for the fight-to-the-finish.

Clothes maketh the actor? I’m not quite sure about that, going by the suits as well as the casuals being ramp-walked in the movies nowadays. The fashion du jour is dictated, currently, by Salman Khan of course. That means super-tight shirts and vests which the Dabangg dude can explode from for the fight-to-the-finish.

Way back in my political science text books, one of the easier-to-remember quotes was historian Lord Acton’s, “Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Occasionally, though, popularity makes male actors change for the better.

No exotic star holidays for me:
I just don’t have the physique or stamina of Aamir Khan or of Kiran Rao to rush off to Koh Samui in Thailand for a scuba-diving break. Neither do I have a fascination for Gstaad where Saif Ali Khan-Kareena Kapoor Khan zoom off so frequently. Switzerland and its snow-capped Alps I have seen enough of in the Yash Chopra vintage romances.

Katrina Kaif:
Salman Khan and she have no issues. Ranbir Kapoor, yeah, she concedes is a wonderful co-star and good friend. Shudder. And she really, really wants to work with all the Khans. Who doesn’t? Accessible only on the eve of her film’s release or if her apartment is devastated by bad plumbing, leading to water flooding. It often is.

Producers, dear friends, are a necessary evil. Without them, there would be no movies. And indeed, why should producers be interested in any factor but profits-profits-profits?

Okay, so ever since I have been in the cradle, I’ve been awestruck about how life continues to imitate popular entertainment. Take this: I went to buy a pair of cool spectacle frames last week. The salesperson took one look at me and said, “I have the right ones for you! The Kaun Banega Crorepati frames!”