Bol is a disturbing, and at times nauseatingly self-righteous, wail from behind the purdah, drawing attention to muffled dreams, bypassed and yet restive lives.

Stand By is angry and it's in dogged pursuit of the answer to one question if finds baffling: Why haven’t 1.2 billion people won a single Olympic gold in group sport for 25 years?

Yeh Dooriyan is a dim-wit with a message aimed specifically at all controlling mummyjis and their wimpy boys, as well as at the Indian society in general. That message is: Be nice to divorced women; if you sleep with them, kindly have the courtesy to marry them as well.

Hai, Godji, thank you. Aakhir kaar Ram Kapoor aur Priya Sharma ki shaadi ho hi gayi. I tell you these Bade Achche Lagte Hain (Sony) people have been dragging this wedding for so long that I had to get my full-body waxing done twice.

Kya aap hair ki lice ko fast-fast pakad sakte hai? Kya aap ek taang pe skip karte-karte jhaaru laga sahte hain? Kya aap musical farts maar sakte hain? If yes, then there’s a TV show just for you, and every weird aunty, uncle, bachcha who has painstakingly, over years, honed some rather pointless talent.

Kya aap hair ki lice ko fast-fast pakad sakte hai? Kya aap ek taang pe skip karte-karte jhaaru laga sahte hain? Kya aap musical farts maar sakte hain? If yes, then there’s a TV show just for you, and every weird aunty, uncle, bachcha who has painstakingly, over years, honed some rather pointless talent.

Take a cute and good-hearted orphan, subject him to some Harry Potteresque step-motherly treatment, then lead him to a loving godmother and a smart godfather. What will you get? Yes, a score-settling, flying destroyer of all things evil.

To
The Jantar Mantar Bhook-Hartal Organising Committee,
Sansad Marg,
New Delhi

Dear Sirs and Madams,
I would first like to congratulate you for turning the 1724 observatory meant for tracking the sun, the moon and the nakshatras into a mighty watchtower for ghoos-khori.

Har cheez joh phirangi hai, kya woh sona hai? Our entertainment channelwallas toh clearly think so. That is why, one by one, they are importing all of white people’s ideas, syappas and shows, the latest being Beauty and the Geek (Channel V).

Marital discord toh is so passé. Aaj kal toh pre-marital discord ka fashion hai. Jahan dekho wahan couples are struggling to stay together till the caterer cuts pyaaz-lassan. Tanav ke kaaran? Anything and everything: He is very busy; he is always at home. She is very homely; she wears tiny clothes. She is a social climber; he is a social embarrassment. She has an ex; he has a side dish. She beats me; he beats me. She is after my money; he is after my body.